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Have you praised your child today?

Last Updated 23 November 2012, 13:18 IST
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Years back on my first visit to a German family, a fridge magnet caught my attention. It had the simple words, “Have you praised your kid today?” It looked a little funny. In fact, silly. Her house had a lot of stickers reminding her of petty little chores that had to be done throughout the day, and this was just another one, I thought. Except that the notes would end up in the trash the next day when the task was accomplished but not this magnet. So, was this something more important than the rest of the reminders?
Today, as a mother of a 4-year-old,  I realise how vital that message was. Sadly, our to-do lists consist of all mundane stuffs like: pay the bills, call the plumber, cut apples for the kids, get the grocery, etc. Many a time, I am happy that at the end of the day, I have accomplished the ones jotted on the paper.  The routine of the second day begins. The new to-do list is on its way, and this whole process does get a bit monotonous. Then there comes a word of praise from hubby dear. And believe it or not, this does wonders to my ego.

Man since time immemorial, has thrived on praise. Any action that is rewarded is repeated, goes the adage. Today, the so-called good qualities in me exist for all the praise my loved ones showered on me. The shady ones too exist, for they got more attention than required. Hence, human behaviour can be chiseled and trimmed with the right dose of praise on a day-to-day basis.

The day I make a deliberate effort to reward my child for her good behaviour, either by merely paying attention to it, saying a ‘WOW’, or just saying “Well done, good job,” I get a million dollar smile from her. Somehow, from time to time, we all need this ego boost.
Have you ever wondered why your hubby never took you to the same restaurant the second time or never gifted you on your subsequent marriage anniversaries? Just take a peep into the past and analyse. How was your reaction then? Good? Bad? or indifferent? The latter two responses would probably explain the present state of affairs.

From an infant to an adult, praise is the most essential vitamin for any relationship to flourish. Faking it doesn’t help in the long term, but genuinely acknowledging someone’s efforts does lubricate the rickety route.

Why do you think Facebook has zillions of followers today? Why do people comment or post their views on a daily basis. Why do they upload their pictures and expect their friends to comment on them? The feel good factor does wonders.

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(Published 23 November 2012, 13:17 IST)

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