Give in yourself to nurture relation

Relationship means adjustment, it is giving. You give what you can to the other person and wait for them to give back to you. If you are demanding, the relationship is not going to last long.

Demand and blame destroys relationships. So, you should only know how to praise others and uplift a situation instead of blaming, finding fault. Uplift the other, this should be your commitment.

Then you are the right person for anybody, and everybody will love you when you don’t hurt them intentionally. This is the first point.

Second, you are open to correction and changes, you have the patience to listen to criticism. Thirdly, you know the other persons’ point of view, or where the shoe pinches. See the other person beyond their words and actions.

When someone comes back home after working 8 to 10 hours, they are very tired. If he is a businessman and when the stock markets fall, he is so upset and he comes home to find solace.

So you should see the circumstance - how the spouse is, and allow them the space to express their genuine feelings of frustrations, anger whatever. At that time, the spouse should be there like a midwife - allow them to deliver.

When someone is in labour pain, and if you say, ‘Don’t deliver, keep it, keep the baby inside.’ What can they do? How long can they keep it inside? Keep that type of space for them to un-stress and download.

Understand why they are upset, why they are unhappy - then your relationship will work. But if you expect them not to say anything, be nice to you all 24 hours, seven days a week and 365 days and you find fault with them all the time, pricking them ‘You are useless, you are hopeless, you are this, that...’, poor lady or man! What will they do? They find that they have no support.

Nobody is helping them to grow, uplifting them and then they get depressed. Greater is the person who has greater capacity to absorb, accommodate, adjust with anybody.
If you can adjust with anybody, that much greater you are.

If you know your acceptability is only 10 per cent, then you are thoroughly miserable if it is zero per cent. There is no way you can grow in your life. Wisdom is to have this patience, grow from zero to one hundred per cent.

One thing I can tell you is that you should leave a certain margin in a relationship. The strength of a relationship lies in the ability to accommodate rough patches.

How well you handle it gives you skills. These virtues come up only when you have rough patches. See the situation as an opportunity on how to adapt, how to be accommodating, understanding and considerate. Excel in exhibiting your character rather than changing the other person.

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