Comfortable with each other's success

UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL

Actor and producer Kabir Khan and his actress-wife Mini Mathur could be among the most doting couples in the film world. And given that they have hit it right from the word go, their exemplary chemistry is understandable. But the couple ascribe their perfect match to their friendship, which they say is the basis of their relationship.
Mini says the moment she met Kabir she knew that he was the man for her. The connect was instant and immediate. “A bond of friendship developed between us and to this day, we rely on it. Kabir is my friend first, then husband,” says Mini. Kabir pitches in, “We first met on a TV show where Mini was the presenter and I was shooting the show. We connected instantly.”

Being two independent people, popular and successful, how do the two manage never to step on each other’s toes or let  their egos get the better of them? “We are both extremely secure about our own talent as well as each other’s. We are responsible for each other’s success and value our life together more than any professional achievement. I can proudly say that we have never had an ego clash.

To me, Kabir’s success is my success,” reasons Mini. Kabir too rules out the question of an ego clash between the two of them.  Work and their personal lives are two separate things altogether. They don’t mix the two. “We have mutual respect for each other’s work and are thrilled with each other’s success. Only an insecure person would begrudge his or her partner's success,” Kabir explains.

No marriage is perfect, it does have its ups and downs. But it all depends on how quickly and swiftly, the couple iron out their differences. “We are blessed, so we have had more ups than downs but whenever we have our differences, we always talk them over and try not to lose our sense of humour. Though Kabir does not like talking about issues, it's me who prods him into talking it out,” Mini says.

Kabir thinks that if couples give each other ample space and make it a point to share the problems, any relationship would be trouble free. Pressure and competition are an inevitable part of showbiz, whether one is at home or on the sets, you still feel the heat.

How do they deal with such pressures? Mini says that they don’t take the fact that they belong to the entertainment world too seriously. “To me, there is a life beyond work. I don’t allow the pressure to look good, be famous and plum assignments get to me. The rat race does not interest me, it never has,” she says.

Mini and Kabir have two kids – a six-year-old son and a daughter who is just one. They’re still young but how do they react when they see their parents on TV? And are they among the pampered, spoilt kids? “Oh no... we make sure we keep our son grounded and deal with him the old fashioned way. I don’t send him to a privileged school, neither does he get extra goodies without reason. But yes, my son watches my TV shows and thinks I’m a rockstar,” says Mini.

Kabir says the kids are too young about their celebrity status. “Our son is slowly becoming aware of the extra attention that sometimes comes our way at public places,” he says. But the couples make sure they bring up their two children  together and spend as much time with them.

Mini says she has got tremendous amount of support and love from Kabir. But there might be things that you truly love and absolutely hate in your partner. “I like his intelligence, positivity, his passion for his work, his sense of humour, knowledge of world politics and history and finally his quest for exploring new things and places,” she says.

The couple considers spirituality and philosophy as very personal things. ‘‘Mini is quite a spiritual person but I cannot say the same for myself. My philosophy is to believe in oneself,’’ says Kabir. But Mini has a totally different take on it. “I believe one day, we will leave behind the hatred, the senseless divides and start life afresh. I am an optimist. And when I am not, Kabir gives me a pep talk and puts me back on track,” she says.

The travel freaks that they are, the couple take off to Ramgarh (Garhwal, Himalayas) whenever they can, and have explored most scuba diving destinations across the world. Mini and Kabir love Japanese, Kashmiri and Burmese cuisine. “Mini is a great cook. I make a great omelette,” Kabir signs off.