Conquering anger

You feel angry because of some weakness. When you want to do something but are not able to do it, then that incapability evokes anger in you. When you are capable and powerful, why would you feel angry? You never get angry over an ant or a fly.

You never get angry with someone weaker than you. We get angry at someone who is greater or mightier than us. We feel angry when we find something beyond our skills or capabilities. We get angry when we feel someone does not obey what we say.

Anger arises when we think our words carry far more importance than us. So anger does cause pain when it arises. But sometimes, it becomes necessary to display some anger, too.

Anger used simply for display should be used as a weapon. Show anger, but remain calm and unshaken. Like a mother often scolds her child over something or the other, but at the same time she smiles at her husband. This anger does not trouble her, or give her a headache. It does not ruin her sleep. So, being angry for the sake of display is all right. Why do we do that? It is because sometimes people do not understand things by simple words, even if you explain the same thing 10 times. So, you need to show some anger to make them serious. It is all right to be angry for the sake of someone else’s welfare, but not for your own selfish motives. That will only harm you.

Anger born of 'I, Me, or Mine' is the one that causes pain and frustration. Getting angry because someone is insulting you only brings harm to you and no one else.

However, getting angry at someone in order to stop them from getting harmed – that anger is actually beneficial. In the Mahabharata war, Lord Krishna got angry at Bhishma as well. It was because Bhishma was prolonging the battle each day for no reason. So, Lord Krishna broke his vow (to not wield weapons or participate in battle) and took up the Sudarshan Chakra. At that moment, Bhishma folded his hands and said, 'O Lord! This is what I was waiting for. My life will be perfect and complete if I receive death at Your hands.’ So, here anger is only a blessing.

Anger cannot be tamed by anything other than meditation. One kind of anger is that which is expressed with full awareness. The other kind is the one that is with ignorance. So, just before you feel anger arising in you, you can feel a tingling sensation on the top of your head, or in the forehead or the back of your head; or you will feel some stiffness in the neck and shoulder region. Observing all those sensations, at that very moment, can help you conquer anger very easily. This is a skill. When you become habituated to observing those sensations, then you can conquer anger very easily.

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