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Phoney starters

Of all the information we try to find out everyday, how much do we need to know?
Last Updated 29 August 2016, 19:06 IST

“What do I do with that information?” That was Gaurav’s counter question to me. Gaurav, Hardy, his son and I were in Mysuru the other day. The three of us were on some official duty and Hardy’s son had accompanied his father to attend a wedding.

Being a nosey parker, I asked Gaurav if the bride or the groom was from Mysuru. Gaurav did not know and he did not want to know either. That’s why he asked: “What do I do with that information?”

And, how right he was! How would it help him even if he ferrets it out? So, while he was not even curious, I was trying to be meddlesome. That set me thinking. How much of the information that we try to find out in our daily life do we need to know at all, let alone digest it?

Sample this: every time we phone someone, if it’s in the morning, we want to know if that someone had breakfast or, at least, tea or coffee. If it is lunch or dinner time, some go a step ahead and enquire about the menu. But why? If the reply is a ‘no,’ will we rush him food? No. We mutter some lip sympathy and get on with the conversation. But that basic enquiry is a must – like the starters that we order when we eat out.

‘How are you?’ is another question hurled, often mechanically, even when we are least interested in the person’s health. It has some relevance if the chap is recuperating.

Sometimes ‘how are you?’ is a risky proposition because if the recipient is a hypochondriac, we must be prepared for an elaborate update on his past, present and future ailments.

‘What were you doing?’ – this is often asked when a big event unfolds. Some want to know if you were drinking coffee, eating, sleeping or listening to commentary when the breaking news was actually happening. Many seriously explain later what they were doing – “I was sleeping when he woke me up and told me that there was a terrorist attack.” How will that add to the seriousness of the situation, I cannot fathom.

Then there are those who ask a question even though they know the answer. Sample this: “How did you go home last night?” “I took an auto.” “Yes, yes, your sister had told me.” Then why ask again?

Trivial matters are discussed elaborately, prolonging the conversation which in no way adds to the knowledge bank. While indulging in this trivia, some even forget the matter for which they made the call in the first place. As long as one has time, currency in the cell and charge in the battery, conversations can go on and on. The phone company goes laughing all the way to the bank.

Time wasted, you say? What else is time for? And, it is time well spent if one enjoys this type of banter. Do you?

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(Published 29 August 2016, 19:06 IST)

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