It isn't the money, honey!

As you meander through life, it is amazing how every twist and turn and every rise and fall teaches you a few lessons. What is life, I wonder at times, is it a blessing or a suffering? Aren't we born in this world to exhaust our 'vasanas' (desires)? Then why is it that we keep creating more of them? Why do we keep pushing ourselves towards materialism?

No I'm not against all things that give us pleasure; trust me I've been known as a 'shopaholic' among my friends. If you ask my husband, you will be told of the amount of   exasperation he has gone through while accompanying me during my long shopping sprees.

Ask him how much he resented us buying a BMW (a dream that I had been nurturing for long); when I bought my Rolex, he didn't say a word, but my mom did-she said, "beta sab ghadi toh ek hi time batatin hain!"

Could I afford all those luxuries, yes of course I could. Luckily I am not one of those people who step out of their comfort zone to partake in such indulgences. But the point is, did I 'need' them, or did I just 'want' them? The answer is obvious, I just wanted them, and justified the act by thinking, 'you know in the profession I am in, people expect me to come out of a fancy car, they expect me to be dressed in designer clothes and carry designer bags and wear high- end watches.'

Was I right? Yes, I think somewhere I was. There is a constant need to justify that one is doing well through such extravagant displays. But does one need to fall prey to such expectations? I have now come to the conclusion that one doesn't!  So why this sudden realisation? As time went by, by god's grace I started doing   better career wise. Now I am working much harder, which tires me out that much more.

I am sleeping early and   waking up early (5 am,  to be precise). As a result, and I guess destiny has some role to play in it too, I am getting closer to the more meaningful things in life like fitness, meditation and spending more time with my son at home. My son is my 'go to' guinea pig for all my recipes. Trust me at 10, he has the most developed palate compared to my entire family of grown-ups.

I have been meeting very accomplished people who are so down to earth, people who despite being far wealthier than me   choose to travel 'economy' while holidaying,   besides driving   around in the smallest cars even to the swankiest   parties as they just don't feel the 'need' to own the flashy ones!  My initial reaction, as it always is to people like this is, "Hey what are you going to do with all that money?" Well, the answer is not important. What is, is the fact that it's not about how much one has, it's about how much one truly needs to spend and what are the reasons to spend it. Are you spending because you want to show everyone what you have or are you spending because you really 'need' those things?

My mother-in-law always tell me, "if you have the correct attitude and are comfortable in your own skin, you could be getting out of a taxi   and yet feel like a maharani'.' I never listened to her earlier, but now realise that those words make sense.  I'm not trying to dampen the spirit of acquiring things, I love the idea of spending. In fact I spend even more on people I love than I spend on   myself.  

My mother and mother-in-law both will vouch for that.. They laugh and tell me that if I had saved up all that I have spent on others, I would've had probably way larger bank balance today. But I don't regret that act of mine, In fact, I don't regret any indulgent act of mine whether it was on myself or on others.

 This is life! You live and learn..And through all of this, the lesson I have learnt is that one doesn't need money to buy love, class or attention.

Let's be content and judge people by who they are and not by what they own, Win people over by loving them unconditionally and not with expensive presents. Let's work hard and let our work do the talking. In short make 'love' your weapon to shield yourself in life, not 'money'.