Women, wit, wisdom

"You know, my husband is so smart; once, when I said 'Look, a dead bird!' he looked up at the sky instantly, as though a dead bird would still be up there!" Her statement triggered a roar of hysterical laughter and anecdotes galore. We four friends unfurled one by one, with wordsmithy, the sunny side of our wit and the lack of it in our spouses.

The first friend began. "One day, my husband came to me as I was relaxing and said 'Hey, you lazy one...' expecting me to hit the roof. But, with a smile on my face, I gave him some statistics. 'Who says I am lazy? I do so much in 24 hours. My heart beats 103,689 times, my blood travels 168,000,000 miles, I breathe 23,040 times, I move 750 muscles and I exercise 7,000,000 brain cells. Gosh, it is quite a lot of work for 24 hours !' You guys should have seen his poor face. Instead of saying that he does the same, too, he looked amazed."

The next one joined. "One day, I called my husband and said, 'I am going to curl up and dye.' 'Hey! What? Why? Why are you planning to curl up and die? Nothing so devastating has happened to take such a step,' he shouted from the other end. Before I knew it, he was at the door ringing the bell! Looking at his ashen face, I said, 'What did I say? I am just going to the beauty parlour to get some curls and dye my hair' 'What? Oh, that dye, I thought that die,' he started laughing with relief. Can you beat that? He thought I would curl up like a worm and die of guilt over our previous night's petty tiff. How silly of my loving husband."

Another one chimed in. "My hubby, vexed with my compulsive shopping, said sarcastically one day, 'You think money grows on trees?' 'Yes, why else do banks have branches?' I retorted with wide-eyed innocence. Well, that it did not go down well with him should be understood girls!' More laughter.

When my turn came, I said, "A few years into our marriage, I confessed to my husband seriously, 'Hey, you know, after our marriage, when I met up with my friends, I told them that you look like a saint sometimes. They were very excited and also a bit jealous because they felt that their husbands looked very strict and stern. But their excitement broke into smithereens of unbounded guffaws when I said, 'Yes, believe me, he looks like a Saint Bernard and growls like one too!' It's a different story that my Saint Bernard bit me that day."

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