Being a very patriotic person, I was getting more and more despondent about the manner in which Pakistan’s ISI was always hogging the limelight. It seems our columnists, politicians, security experts, administrators and the ‘aam admi’ are convinced that the ISI is a super spy agency which can teach the CIA a thing or two about dirty tricks. All the mischief going on in our country, whether it be bombings or smuggling or rioting or train accidents is reported to be ISI-sponsored. It’s a wonder why its name has not cropped up in newspaper reports about the fiasco in organising the Commonwealth Games in Delhi.

In contrast, our own RAW, the IB and sundry other agencies seem to be a bunch of bumbling amateurs, depending on hand-me-downs from the CIA,  the FBI, Mossad and the like to know who is plotting what in our own country. They seem to specialise in permitting suspected moles to quietly leave the country.

But, now, my humiliation is at an end and I can lift my head with pride. I have it on the authority of leading Pakistani news publications that RAW can be equally up to no good as the ISI or American spook shops.

The whole world was under the impression that the recent devastating floods in Pakistan were caused by unprecedented heavy rainfall over that country. However, the ‘Nawa-i-Waqt’, a prominent Urdu daily of Pakistan, has revealed that the floods were a machination of Indian intelligence agencies which prevailed upon  the Indian government to open the dam gates in Kashmir and let all the stored water out downstream to Pakistan! Can the ISI ever match such a devilishly superb strategy to wreak mayhem on the enemy?

And now comes further news to bolster my ego about the efficiency of our intel folk. Pakistani English newspaper ‘Daily Mail’ has claimed that the spot fixing scandal involving Pak cricketers was all a diabolical plot masterminded by RAW to give Pakistan a bad name. According to the paper’s investigations, some British journalists and the unsavoury character called Majeed were in cahoots with the Indian agency to bring down the fair name of Pakistani cricketers.

An Indian intelligence agency surpassing in deviousness the devilish ISI! I would not have believed it if I had not read it in a Pakistani newspaper. I now eagerly await the revelation, perhaps uncovered by PTV, that the fall from grace of the Pak hockey team was engineered by Indian spooks. Way to go, RAW!