It often starts quietly — a classmate scores higher, a friend draws better, someone’s photo gets more likes. Before you realise it, you’ve opened a mental scoreboard where everyone else seems to be winning. But comparison is a game with no finish line. No matter how far you go, there will always be someone ahead in something.
The problem isn’t noticing others; it’s forgetting your own path. Every person starts from a different point and runs a different race. The one who solves maths problems quickly may struggle with stage fright. The one who tops science may wish for your creativity. When you measure your worth with someone else’s ruler, you’ll always feel too short.
Instead, try the “mirror test.” Look at who you were a year ago — not who stands next to you now. Did you learn faster, read more, or handle situations better? Growth isn’t about beating others; it’s about stretching yourself.
Comparing yourself drains energy that could go into improving. The moment you redirect that focus inward, you turn envy into curiosity — How did they do it? What can I learn? That’s how comparison becomes collaboration. You stop chasing someone else’s story and start writing your own — with confidence, not competition.
Your brain is wired to compare
Neuroscientists say the brain automatically measures how we stack up against others within seconds of meeting them
Social media makes it worse
Even a few minutes of scrolling can lower confidence when people start comparing lives or looks