'My Friends' book review: Joys and traumas of teenage bonds

This is an elegy to the friendships that keep us together when everything around us threatens to fall apart, and to the friends who refuse to leave us alone, says Rutvik Bhandari.

In a small town, you don’t get to choose your friends. You stumble onto strangers — on a fishing pier in a lonely little town, for example — and just like that, you’re bonded for life. They arrive uninvited, sometimes stay too long, sometimes not long enough, but change your life without ever meaning to. Fredrik Backman, author of internationally bestselling books like A Man Called Ove and Anxious People, in his newest release, My Friends, chronicles the tale of such teenage friendships and how it changes lives.

In his classic satirical and conversational style, the author introduces a vibrant cast of deeply human characters: Louisa, an 18-year old orphan who breaks into a church to view the priceless artwork being sold at auction; ‘The Artist’, who painted the artwork in question; his best friends, Ted and Joar; and the artwork itself, titled ‘The One Of The Sea’, a painting of three friends on a fishing pier in front of the infinite sea. A story then unfolds as they go back in time to a summer from 25 years ago — when the painting was born.

As Louisa learns more about their past, she also grapples with her own present: the loss of her best friend and her traumatic childhood in foster homes. Backman moves effortlessly across all timelines to craft a narrative that’s atmospheric and deeply intimate. Beyond this structure, My Friends emerges as a profound novel that touches upon various emotions that resonate with the human experience.

At its heart, the story is rooted in friendship. My Friends dives deep into the themes of masculinity and male friendship, particularly between teenage boys. It perfectly captures the liminal moment when boys are no longer boys, but also not quite men either — how society, patriarchy and circumstances shape them into who they grow up to be. In a small town where lack of aggression is mistaken for femininity, My Friends explores how, despite all the bullying, some kids still preserve their innate tenderness.

This comes as a quiet rebellion in today’s entertainment landscape, where stories of wasted youth are showcased with pity and, in some cases, even romanticised. ‘The Artist’ and Ted, who don’t fall into the category of ‘angry young men’, are protected by the small but mighty Joar, and they, in turn, keep Joar anchored amidst his violent and troubled home life. The novel beautifully showcases how friendship can be lifesaving, in the literal sense of the word. “The world is full of miracles,” Backman writes, “but none greater than how far a young person can be carried by someone else’s belief in them.”

As the novel progresses, Backman deftly interweaves Louisa’s story into the narrative with tight little vignettes. Being an artist herself, she is drawn to their story, begins to find parts of herself in them, and starts to imagine a new future for herself.

As time passes by, their interactions thaw her out, and she slowly starts finding herself again. Backman navigates tough topics of domestic violence, drug abuse, and grief with unmatched sensitivity. He doesn’t shy away from their emotional heaviness and leaves abundant space for healing.

Alongside these fully realised characters, art itself becomes a powerful presence which grounds the whole story. ‘The One Of The Sea’ doesn’t remain just a world-famous painting; it becomes the personification of their collective life, their love for each other, their struggles and how they rose above it. It showcases the love the artist felt for his friends and how, despite not being in it, he’s everywhere in it. “Art is what we leave of ourselves in other people,” Backman writes, in what may be the book’s most moving line.

The book keeps readers invested and in the pursuit of “What happens next?” With his signature comedic style interspersed with tender and emotional moments, the story builds to a climax, which leaves readers with a mix of emotions: half bitter and half sweet. It prods the reader over and over again and asks, “What is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Echoing the pursuit of ‘okayness’ in The Emperor of Gladness by Ocean Vuong and the emotional intimacy of Shuggie Bain by Douglas Stuart, My Friends is an elegy to the friendships that keep us together when everything around us threatens to fall apart — a reminder that no matter how lonely we are, our ‘iiidiiot’ friends rarely leave us alone.