Of faith & resilience

While we were on our way to Koovagam, sitting next to us in the train, an old man with a white beard told us, “Have a little faith. There’s magic in the night, and if you only believe, you’ll find magic everywhere.” I have always believed in the miracles of life. My journey from being a filmmaker to becoming an author has been a wonderful miracle, too. My debut book is about my life-changing journey to Koovagam, where thousands of transgender women come together every year to participate in one of the most extraordinary festivals in the world. It is one-of-a-kind.

Spread across 18 days, the festival celebrates the lives of trans women and provides them an opportunity to find a community and family of their own. The first few days are marked by beauty pageants and sexual-health awareness workshops, and a slew of other activities, from group dances to travelling markets. On the last two days, the festival peaks.

Thousands of aravanis (trans women) enter the Koothandavar temple to marry the deity, Lord Aravan, in a mass marriage ceremony. The priests tie thalis to the aravanis’ necks and declare them Aravan’s brides. Dressed in their finest clothes and jewels, the brides celebrate their joyous union with the deity, even as they prepare to mourn the figurative death of their husband the next day, when their thalis are broken and they become widows of Aravan — all in the span of a few hours. This is a truly intriguing series of events, and most people do not know about this remarkable festival in India.

What the festival signifies

The legend behind it goes back to the Mahabharata. To secure their victory in the Kurukshetra war, the Pandavas had to offer a human sacrifice. According to folklore which details the necessary conditions for the sacrifice, only three warriors qualified: Krishna, Arjuna and Aravan. Aravan volunteered to be sacrificed but presented a few of his own wishes. One of them was to experience the bliss of marriage before his death. No woman would marry a man fated to die the next day. So, Krishna transformed into Mohini for a night and married Aravan. The next day, Aravan was offered to Goddess Kali. He played a pivotal role in ensuring the
Pandavas’ victory. Every year, during the month of Chithirai, this legend is revived as trans women from all over the country travel to Koovagam to marry Lord Aravan, and a day later, mourn his death and sacrifice. After experiencing the festival, from the lush colours on the wedding day, to the heart-rending scenes of mourning the next day, I felt both gloomy and astonished. Many conversations with trans women at the festival reveal the prejudices they have endured in society, and within their own families that have abandoned them due to their sexuality. Each conversation also reveals the resilience, courage and spirit of these women. During my time at the festival, I realised that the ultimate happiness in our life comes from being true to ourselves. When I asked one of the participants, “Akka, what do you feel when you come back to this event every year?” she replied: “Coming back? This is where I belong. This is my home where I can be myself, embrace being myself and meet people like me — a family of my own.”

Safe space

At Koovagam, trans women bear witness to each other’s journeys and challenges in life and form a safe harbour for the community. They invited me into their world with warmth and acceptance, and it was a privilege to be amongst them and learn from them. I decided to write my book as a witness, to tell the stories of these women who taught me about the prejudice they face and how they conquer them. I also realised that more people needed to know about this festival, and as a photographer, the visual medium allowed me to transport readers from all over the world to Koovagam. I hope people see beyond harmful stereotypes and accept the beauty of differences. I often think about another conversation I had with a trans woman at the festival, who told me, “The real struggle isn’t survival, tambi. It’s convincing the world that peace begins when you stop seeing differences as threats.”

(The writer is a travel photographer, film maker and author of ‘Souls of Someone: Myth, Magic and Mourning in Koovagam’, HarperCollins India.)