<p>She has been through difficult times and has proved that it needs a little courage and determination to move on and leave past behind you and not let it haunt you. Her achievement is sure to inspire many women in distress.<br /><br /></p>.<p> She is aware that there are many women like her who have not been accepted by their husbands for not meeting dowry demand. <br /><br />Komal Ganatra (30), who comes from middle class background in Savarkundla in Saurashtra region, hardly spent a week with her husband in 2008 and another few months with his family. Now, she has cleared civil services examinations and is looking forward to a new life. Ganatra is aware that her rank of 540 may get her only in the IRS but she is glad that she will now be a self-dependent woman with her head held high. She spoke to Swati Bhan of Deccan Herald about the difficult times and then her journey to success. <br /><br />Excerpts:<br /><br />It must have been difficult for you when you got married to an NRI groom who later even did not accept you?<br />Yes, staying with the social stigma of being rejected was indeed a difficult task. It was not only difficult for me but also for my family. As in our society it is always the girl who is held responsible for any differences in the family. My marriage was fixed through a matrimonial website and then after the marriage I shifted to his residence in Rajkot. I stayed with him for a week and then he went abroad. <br /><br />After he left, I stayed with his family but it was getting difficult for me with every passing day. Finally, after six months, <br /><br />I returned to my parents home and that is when the difficulties began. Nagging questions from neighbours and relatives were too uncomfortable for us. My husband was not traceable and there was no way we could reach him. We did not have any details about him and it was like shooting in the dark. The family was demanding many things and in the absence of the man whom I had married it was difficult for me to put up a solitary fight. And I had started feeling insecure in that house. It would have taken two hours to reach my home. <br /><br />Were you able to trace him and find out why he never accepted you or did not keep any contact? <br />It was difficult as we had no details about him. I just knew he was a businessman settled in New Zealand. We had to run from pillar to post at New Zealand Embassy. Nothing materialised. And with no internet connection at home it was more difficult. Finally, we gave up hope and my brother persuaded me to continue my studies and think of a career. I would go to a nearby cybercafé or library whenever we needed to access the internet.<br /><br />How difficult was it for you to get back to studies after the trauma?<br />My father was a teacher at a government school and the focus was on education always at our house. My younger brother, who is now an engineer, encouraged me to pursue studies. After a lot of persuasion in 2008, I joined the Sardar Patel Institute of Public Administration in Ahmedabad. It was difficult because as I had to put all the personal trauma behind me and concentrate on studies and think of a career that takes me ahead in life.<br /><br />Your father and brother have been your driving force?<br />Yes, they helped me to put things behind. Due to their faith in me, I was able to study and clear the civil services exam. <br /><br />How can you inspire other women who face similar situation like you in their lives?<br />Women, who have faced and are facing similar situations like me, should understand that they can fight against the system if they are independent. Probably, everybody cannot get back to studies, but they must not give up and get caught with their past. As someone said the show must go on. So, for life to move on, it is necessary to become independent and have an identity of your own. It <br />increases the self-respect and dignity of women. For the family, it becomes easier when such women become independent and can lead a life of their own.<br /><br />Spell out some of priority areas you have identified to be introduced when you take up your first assignment?<br />With my rank it will be difficult to get into a department of my choice. Wherever I am posted I will ensure that women who are in need get assistance in some way. I will surely try and help such women.</p>
<p>She has been through difficult times and has proved that it needs a little courage and determination to move on and leave past behind you and not let it haunt you. Her achievement is sure to inspire many women in distress.<br /><br /></p>.<p> She is aware that there are many women like her who have not been accepted by their husbands for not meeting dowry demand. <br /><br />Komal Ganatra (30), who comes from middle class background in Savarkundla in Saurashtra region, hardly spent a week with her husband in 2008 and another few months with his family. Now, she has cleared civil services examinations and is looking forward to a new life. Ganatra is aware that her rank of 540 may get her only in the IRS but she is glad that she will now be a self-dependent woman with her head held high. She spoke to Swati Bhan of Deccan Herald about the difficult times and then her journey to success. <br /><br />Excerpts:<br /><br />It must have been difficult for you when you got married to an NRI groom who later even did not accept you?<br />Yes, staying with the social stigma of being rejected was indeed a difficult task. It was not only difficult for me but also for my family. As in our society it is always the girl who is held responsible for any differences in the family. My marriage was fixed through a matrimonial website and then after the marriage I shifted to his residence in Rajkot. I stayed with him for a week and then he went abroad. <br /><br />After he left, I stayed with his family but it was getting difficult for me with every passing day. Finally, after six months, <br /><br />I returned to my parents home and that is when the difficulties began. Nagging questions from neighbours and relatives were too uncomfortable for us. My husband was not traceable and there was no way we could reach him. We did not have any details about him and it was like shooting in the dark. The family was demanding many things and in the absence of the man whom I had married it was difficult for me to put up a solitary fight. And I had started feeling insecure in that house. It would have taken two hours to reach my home. <br /><br />Were you able to trace him and find out why he never accepted you or did not keep any contact? <br />It was difficult as we had no details about him. I just knew he was a businessman settled in New Zealand. We had to run from pillar to post at New Zealand Embassy. Nothing materialised. And with no internet connection at home it was more difficult. Finally, we gave up hope and my brother persuaded me to continue my studies and think of a career. I would go to a nearby cybercafé or library whenever we needed to access the internet.<br /><br />How difficult was it for you to get back to studies after the trauma?<br />My father was a teacher at a government school and the focus was on education always at our house. My younger brother, who is now an engineer, encouraged me to pursue studies. After a lot of persuasion in 2008, I joined the Sardar Patel Institute of Public Administration in Ahmedabad. It was difficult because as I had to put all the personal trauma behind me and concentrate on studies and think of a career that takes me ahead in life.<br /><br />Your father and brother have been your driving force?<br />Yes, they helped me to put things behind. Due to their faith in me, I was able to study and clear the civil services exam. <br /><br />How can you inspire other women who face similar situation like you in their lives?<br />Women, who have faced and are facing similar situations like me, should understand that they can fight against the system if they are independent. Probably, everybody cannot get back to studies, but they must not give up and get caught with their past. As someone said the show must go on. So, for life to move on, it is necessary to become independent and have an identity of your own. It <br />increases the self-respect and dignity of women. For the family, it becomes easier when such women become independent and can lead a life of their own.<br /><br />Spell out some of priority areas you have identified to be introduced when you take up your first assignment?<br />With my rank it will be difficult to get into a department of my choice. Wherever I am posted I will ensure that women who are in need get assistance in some way. I will surely try and help such women.</p>