Are we overusing the label narcissist?

It is not uncommon for people to roll eyes at those who are too self absorbed or difficult to get along with. The word ‘narcissist’ is being carelessly dropped on those who share a slightest similarity to the pathological state.

Social media is fueling the belief that every second person has a narcissistic personality. A furious authority figure at work, a self invested friend or an attention seeking partner are all under the pathological radar.

However, experts find this over generalisation problematic and dangerous for mental health.

Most people will show narcissistic traits once or more in a lifetime but not all have a narcissism disorder, experts have said.

While narcissistic traits are common, narcissistic personality disorder is a serious condition and doesn’t affect all.

Narcissism is a spectrum

As per the American Psychological Association, narcissism is associated with excessive self concern, overvaluation of the self, a necessity for grandiose or admiration and a lack of empathy for others.

Narcissism has been identified as a trait which exists on a spectrum or a scale.

A person can show narcissistic tendencies in a given situation but might act with empathy and self awareness in others.

This doesn’t qualify them to be diagnosed with narcissism disorder. 

The frequency, intensity and duration of the traits decide if the trait is becoming pathological, affecting the quality of a person’s everyday life or causing harm to others around them.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) has listed several criteria to diagnose a person with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD). The experts often look for at least five of the traits to be present in the affected person, some of them including overestimation of capabilities, unrealistic fantasies of power and success, belief in superiority, fragile self esteem, a desire to exploit others, lack of empathy and an unexplainable arrogance and hypersensitivity to criticism.

However, these symptoms must be consistent over a time period to become diseased.

Narcissists are born or made?

As per experts, people are not born as narcissists but relational abuse and genetics can increase one’s predisposition towards maladaptive behaviours.

Speaking to DH, Yash Dilip, a Mumbai-based therapist said: “Narcissism can develop from early relational wounds, particularly from caretakers. When emotional needs are not met, a person can grow up with a fragile sense of self and conceal this vulnerability with grandiosity or entitlement. This self-created persona becomes so ingrained in their personality that they start believing in it as the ultimate truth. But under this core is deep insecurity and fear.”

As per the expert, a narcissist lacks insight into the damage caused by their behaviour. In many cases, they see others as an extension of themselves and use them for their own good.

Unlike those with narcissistic traits, a diagnosed narcissist has reduced self awareness and little to no willingness to take accountability for their behaviour or action.

They may develop connections in life but those are mostly transactional in nature, experts have said.

As per Medical News Today, narcissistic traits can be changed with time, however, a narcissistic personality is a hard shell to crack.

The willingness of the person to change is the only way out as many narcissists deliberately hide their maladaptive traits. 

Confused values

Having defined narcissism, many other similar seeming traits are being confused for it, experts have said.

Speaking to DH, Dr Pavitra Shankar, a psychiatrist at Aakash Healthcare (Dwarka) said: “Today harmless behaviours like a person setting boundaries with others, seeking genuine emotional validation after getting hurt or neglected and occasionally being self-centered for personal growth are being tagged as narcissistic behaviour. This seems like a lack of deeper understanding."

One must not be so quick with a serious diagnosis. Some people might be difficult or rigid to get along, some are not easily agreeable, or some might be simply self assured. None of them might show pathological signs of narcissism, said Dr Shankar.

Some experts also highlight the role of social media in misleading people.

Speaking to DH, Dr. Rahul Chandhok, a head consultant at Mental Health & Behavioural Science ( Artemis Hospitals) said: “The rampant rise of unregulated short form content on social media platforms is misleading people on narcissism. This is a serious mental illness, causing significant distress to others and not merely a way of life.”

Society also plays a pivotal role in promoting narcissistic qualities, experts have explained.

Social hierarchies, gender stereotypes and uneven power distribution can also generate a false sense of entitlement, however, this isn’t affecting one individual but a population, said Yash.

The experts claimed the overuse of terms like ‘narcissist’ can reduce the seriousness linked to the disorder, making it too generalised to be understood.

Others say it can over simplify human vulnerability which is a complex theme to explore.