Bengaluru: Obsession often a coping mechanism, counsellors say

The recent triple suicide in Ghaziabad has sparked widespread debate — but mental health professionals warn that reducing the tragedy to a “K-pop obsession” is an oversimplification of the deeper, more complex reality. The three sisters, aged between 12 and 16, jumped from the ninth floor of their housing complex
after their phones were confiscated. Their diaries reportedly mentioned frustration over being barred from engaging with K-pop and K-dramas. 

Sources suggest the sisters were not attending school and lived in a household burdened by debt and isolation. Experts believe their engagement with Korean entertainment may have functioned as a coping mechanism.

Metrolife spoke to experts about distinguishing between genuine mental health concerns and coping behaviours that may appear excessive.

Interest vs obsession

Dr Safiya M S, a psychiatrist, says that the term “obsession” is often misused. “If someone engages in something minimally, it’s an interest. Only when it becomes dysfunctional does it qualify as an obsession,” she says. Nithya J Rao, a rehabilitation psychologist, says the object of fixation is secondary. “If a 12-year-old is unhealthily absorbed in anything, we must ask why. If they’re heavily invested in one avenue, they’re likely coping with something distressing.” Counsellor Sunil Fernandes, with 35 years of experience, echoes this view. “Once labelled, a child may start seeing themselves only through that tag.”

Spotting red flags

Dr Safiya says inability to interact with peers, being away from school for extended periods, and neglect
of hygiene are warning signs. “If kids are absent from school for long periods, schools should inform authorities,” she says. Nithya suggests behavioural shifts as early indicators. “The easiest sign is sleep. That’s the first thing that changes. If behaviour drastically shifts in a short period, that’s a warning.”

Loneliness and isolation

Chronic loneliness affects neuroplasticity and executive functioning, says Dr Safiya. “Self-confidence, emotional growth and the ability to develop mentally are deeply impacted,” she explains.

The Ghaziabad sisters had reportedly not attended school for 2-3 years and were largely isolated, as the father could not afford to send them to school while in debt. The girls were deeply involved in a “Korean task-based game”. They used Korean names to create a social media account with a large following. Investigations revealed a complex, strained household, with their father allegedly married to three women (who are
sisters) and having multiple children.

Nithya adds that prolonged isolation can hinder identity formation. “They may grow into people pleasers with impulsivity and poor emotional regulation,” she says.

Sunil notes that children in restrictive homes often don’t realise support systems exist. “A child may appear
socially brilliant outside but feel bitter and unsupported within. Isolation can turn into resentment and emotional damage in adulthood.”

Toxic households 

Nithya stresses the need for structural intervention. She says, “Unless a child is removed from a toxic environment, prevention is difficult. In India, parents largely control access. That’s a community lapse.” Dr Safiya adds that children raised in such environments often feel helpless and abandoned.

“They are at higher risk of self-harm because they constantly seek validation,” she says.

All experts agree on the urgent need for a formal child protection system that conducts proactive wellness checks, rather than acting only after a crime. Currently, interventions often occur post-incident, leaving vulnerable children without preventive support.

How mental wellness in kids is often mislabelled
- Inability to get out of bed — labelled as laziness.
- Irritability — mistaken as arrogance.
- Refusing to go to school — seen as aggression rather than distress.
- If you or someone you know is struggling, seek professional help or contact helplines such as Tele MANAS (1800 891 4416).