Love bombing and other red flags on dating apps

Dating app users in Bengaluru have reported a rise in impersonation, extortion, and people misrepresenting their relationship intentions on these platforms. The teams behind the apps acknowledge the issue and say they are actively introducing stronger safety controls. 

Relationship experts say users often fail to spot red flags because profiles are carefully curated and problems usually surface only after extended conversations. Dylan, a Hinge user, agrees. He says that after two weeks of chatting on the app, his match began asking for gifts and money. When he examined the profile more closely, he realised it was a catfish account (where someone creates a completely fake persona). He reported and blocked the account.

Look for inconsistencies

Psychologist Kala Balasubramanian says inconsistencies between the intentions people declare on their profile and how they behave are a major red flag, especially if they become defensive or aggressive when questioned about it. College student Khushi U says she has matched with people who claimed they were looking for a long-term relationship but later admitted they were only interested in something physical, and vice versa. “Sometimes someone says they want an exclusive relationship, but later it turns out they prefer a non-monogamous arrangement,” she says.

Love bombing is another concern, says Kala. This refers to someone professing love very early on. Not respecting boundaries is another warning sign. Kala explains, “How long you want to wait before meeting, whether three weeks or three months, is your choice. If someone agrees to your boundaries initially but later pressures you, that’s a sign (something is off).”

Psychologist Mala Sridhar adds that the use of repeated phrases such as ‘Don’t you trust me?’ or ‘If you trust me…’ is not healthy. “Trust is not an obligation. If someone pushes your boundaries with such statements, they may be trying to manipulate you,” she says.

Kala further warns that if you feel fearful about meeting in person, getting physical, or sharing personal information, it is important to reassess the relationship. “If you are making choices out of the fear that they will stop talking to you or leave if you don’t comply, that is a red flag,” she says.

Safety features

On Aisle, users must complete selfie verification to earn a verified badge on their profile. Founder Able Joseph explains that users are required to use an in-app feature to scan their faces. Paid users can also see how many people their match is talking to. This can help if someone claims they are dating exclusively but is still interacting with others, he explains.

Tinder’s ‘Face Check’ requires users to upload a photo or video, which is then matched with their profile picture. The app also offers a safety guide called the ‘School of Swipe’ to help users navigate the platform safely, adds its communications lead Aditi Shorewal.

Schmooze uses artificial intelligence to filter offensive content and alert users about inappropriate behaviour, says founder and CEO Vidya Madhavan.

BumpedIn does not display user photographs. Instead, it matches users based on shared experiences and interests, says founder Aravinth Prabu. The app verifies a user’s identity through an Instagram link provided by them. It also states that users should chat within the app until they feel comfortable taking the conversation elsewhere.