This secret extramarital dating app is exploding in India—And Bengaluru is leading the charge

A person who feels unheard at home may connect with a colleague who simply listens. What begins as emotional comfort can gradually cross boundaries, an expert says.

A discreet extramarital dating app has officially surpassed over four million users in the country, with 148 per cent increase in female users over the past two years.

Most of the people using the phone application Gleeden are married or are in long-term relationships.

With adultery no longer a crime in India, extramarital affairs are on a significant rise. The numbers obtained from dating platforms are suggestive of the country becoming a popular hub for non-monogamous relationships. On the platform, 18% users are from Bengaluru, followed by Hyderabad (17%), Delhi (11%), Mumbai (9%), and Pune (7%).

Infidelity is the violation of a couple’s explicit or implicit rules of exclusivity, involving secret emotional, sexual or virtual relationships outside the partnership, said the American Psychological Association.

The survey done by Gleeden covered people from both tier 1 and tier 2 cities and wanted to assess how artificial intelligence has been changing the dating scene in the country and also the trends in infidelity.

Interestingly, the results were not limited to physical or emotional cheating. About 49 per cent of Indians have had at least one occasion where they chose to be sexually intimate with an AI bot rather than a partner. 

The study also found loneliness as the primary factor enabling people to seek connections outside marriage or engage in virtual relationships.

Changing reasons for infidelity

Increased emotional awareness among people is causing them to become more attentive towards their unmet needs, however, in some cases causing them to make morally poor choices.

Speaking to DH, Dr Munia Bhattacharya, a senior clinical psychologist at Marengo Asia Hospitals (Gurugram) said: “Infidelity today is less about morality and more about unmet emotional needs. Many people are not looking to leave their marriage but are seeking validation, attention, and emotional connection. Modern lifestyles have increased emotional distance between partners. Work stress, digital distractions, and lack of meaningful communication often leave partners feeling unseen at home. This emotional gap creates vulnerability.”

Sometimes, extramarital relationships can start off as a harmless friendship at work, said Dr Bhattacharya.

A person who feels unheard at home may connect with a colleague who simply listens. What begins as emotional comfort can gradually cross boundaries, she added.

As for the rising cases of infidelity among women, many women are no longer willing to settle for emotional neglect.

Increased finances, increased emotional awareness and an emotional disconnect with the current partner are strong enablers for women to cheat, said Dr Bhattacharya.

Loss of identity, easy access and novelty seeking

Among the less conventional reasons for cheating are a gradual loss of identity in existing relationships.

Speaking to DH, Sidhharrth S Kumar, a relationship coach and therapist (at NumroVani) said: “Some people tend to lose their self-identity in existing connections and get trapped in fixed roles. They might see new experiences as a way to get out of these roles and see themselves differently. In some cases, they tend to try new styles of attachments.”

The low access barrier as seen in social media applications and dating apps is another enabler of the behaviour.

They can easily reach out to other people through direct messaging, said Kumar.

For women, there has been an evolutionary change from a survival-based relationship to fulfillment-based connections.

If they are not emotionally fulfilled within the connection, they tend to look outside for the same.

Entering into marriage after having a history of complex romantic relationships could also make people feel disconnected in their formal relationships, said Kumar.

AI as the third party

Speaking to the New York Times, a man shared how he named an AI bot as ‘Sarina’ and considered it as his partner.

The man in the article told the magazine that he thought of the AI bot as made of codes, just like his wife was made of cells.

As per the survey by Gleeden, for many Indians AI has replaced their partner for intimate needs.

About 54 per cent of the surveyed population had set up an AI partner to have a virtual sexual connection and about 58 per cent had used it to seek genuine emotional relationships, exchanging cuddles and kisses.

In the same survey, about 60 per cent of the respondents called sharing intimacy with AI as another form of cheating and about 70 per cent said they would be shocked to know if their partner was doing it.

Many newer studies are showing AI chatbots can mimic empathy and emotional closeness using nuanced language.

In 2020, about 1.35 lakh people from Bengaluru had registered on the discreet application.