Happy adults = happy kids

How someone is feeling can be caught, in fact emotions are more contagious than flu, writes Jackie Harland

So why is it that when one baby cries another will also cry, and when someone can’t stop laughing you find yourself laughing as well, even though you have no idea why; this is because emotions are contagious.

Emotional contagion is where we feel a reflection of someone else’s emotions by looking at their expressions and actions. How someone is feeling can be caught, in fact, emotions are more contagious than flu.

It is very easy to think children will not realise when we are upset or unhappy but actually they are likely to start feeling the same way without knowing why. A good example is when they are being dropped off at school and they start feeling anxious because we are feeling anxious about leaving them.

Emotional contagion also enables parents to interpret and understand how children are feeling in a particular situation and therefore empathise. It is the skill that enables parents to ‘catch’ a feeling in a child such as fear or anxiety by a look or facial expression.

The ability to recognise, identify and manage emotions involves Emotional Intelligence (EQ). It is said that this is the key to happiness and lays the foundation for managing relationships. How emotionally intelligent are you?
Some would say your emotional intelligence is more important than your IQ. So how can we develop EQ in children? Here are four points that will help develop emotional intelligence in children:

Observe & label feelings Be aware of how a child feels in different situations and encourage them to talk about it.

Talk about emotions

Help children recognise how others are feeling and empathise with them.

Validate a child’s emotions

One can validate emotions without agreeing with inappropriate behaviour as regulating emotions is an important factor in EQ.

Encourage problem solving: Children need to feel that their emotions are understood.
Jackie Harland

(The author is founder & director, London Children’s Practice)