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Bizarre baba quotes to liven up your day

Last Updated 22 September 2018, 05:52 IST

Feeling low? We highly recommend a dose of Swami Nithyananda’s videos; they are sure to give you a healthy fit of giggles.

For those of you who missed the bus, Swami Nithyananda is the controversial godman seen with a movie star in a sex tape. He is also accused in a 2010 rape case, in which charges, they say, will be framed soon. He is breaking the Internet now with a video in which he is telling devotees he has built a software that will enable monkeys and a few other animals to develop human characteristics.

He claims he has ‘casually’ checked the software and it works perfectly fine. He will next develop a language-capable vocal cord for monkeys, lions and tigers.

Give him a year and he will produce cows and other animals that can converse perfectly in Tamil and Sanskrit. Yes, that’s what he says.

Hold on, we are not done yet! He went on to debunk Albert Einstein’s famous equation E=mc2 with a gem of an explanation liberally peppered with ‘intensity’ and ‘continuity’... and a whole lot of balderdash.

For the first time in the history of science, he says the theory of relativity is different for a ‘non-veg crooked brain’ and a ‘vegetarian brain.’ (We couldn’t make this up even if we tried).

To be fair to the Swami, he is not alone in his penchant for the bizarre. Here is a look at some others.

Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

The spiritual guru called homosexuality a temporary ‘tendency’ and something that could change. Netizens were quick to slam him. Even Bollywood celebrities joined in.

Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev

From branding liberals as fanatics to claiming depression is caused by excessive eating, the otherwise well-spoken spiritual leader has some gems to his credit.

Baba Ramdev

The yoga master says: “Does the egg come from behind the hen or from the front? If it comes from the back, then it is shit, right?”

Swami Om

This godman was sent out for obnoxious activities like throwing his pee on contestants and using abusive language against women in the Bigg Boss 10 house. In a chat show, when questioned about his behaviour, he broke a drinking glass and started howling.

Father Sharlo Ezhanikkattu

The priest, from the Divine Mercy Retreat Centre in Bengaluru, was caught on camera addressing women as “things” and saying they should be drowned in the sea for tempting good Christian men by wearing jeans and shirts. The video was first shared on a Christian channel and then uploaded on Facebook.

Zakir Naik

Controversy’s favourite child, he has produced some real gems: “The pig is the most shameless animal on the face of the earth. It is the only animal that invites its friends to have sex with its mate. In America, most people consume pork. Many times, after dance parties, they have swapping of wives; many say ‘you sleep with my wife and I will sleep with your wife.’ If you eat pigs then you behave like pigs.”

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(Published 21 September 2018, 13:26 IST)

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