Being angry with oneself

Anger is probably the most common negative (or positive?) emotion that one feels. Often it occurs with regret in tow. 

Anger is often considered an undesirable and even dangerous emotion that makes people irrational in their reactions to the angering person or circumstance. Anger can cause people to behave impulsively and without inhibition. 

Anger can be infectious and amplify into a revolution against oppressors. Righteous indignation creates an indomitable resolve to fight back against perpetrators of injustice. It is a desirable feeling. It makes people question status quo. It scripts history. All revolutions happen because people are angry with the establishment. 

Violence in some form—overt or covert, usually accompanies anger. In individuals, anger can be a high energy consuming experience if it becomes chronic. It can tire the angry person and leave him or her listless. It kills motivation and the need to be happy. The person finds “pleasure in being angry” because it is a ‘high’ like no other drug. 

People who don’t feel angry are usually abnormal. Anger often reminds a person that he or she is human. When suppressed, it can turn into rage which in turn causes many mental illnesses. 

There was a time in my life when I was very angry with myself for not having done a laundry list of things that make one “successful”. But now, I realize that it was a drain on my mental resources. I was being a sore loser, and a very unhealthy one at that. Most things in life are not in our control. 

There is no point in me being angry with people, because I don’t control their thoughts and actions. There is no point in being angry with situations because they often get worse when I am angry and confused. In such situations there is very little I can do other than go with the flow. Better to enjoy the journey, its sights and sounds, than fret about how imperfect they are. 

Being angry with myself is a miserable feeling. Because I keep going in circles thinking the same negative thoughts like a person who is obsessive-compulsive. How do I shake off this feeling? 

Stop regretting! If you go straight for the regret’s jugular, your anger diminishes. Knock out regret and self-indignation disappears. The key is to realise that the self-torture that accompanies regret makes one punish oneself in anger. Counting your blessings helps. 

The other way is to believe in destiny. Destiny, whether you admit it or not, will never make you walk a certain path without purpose. Trust that you are in the best place, at the best time, in the best situation, with the right people, as can be. It is really that simple.