In eulogy, we find the kind of leaders we like

The fulsome tributes pouring in for Dr Manmohan Singh, who passed away last week at the age of 92, speak volumes about the man and the leader he was. But they also reveal something deeper—they bring to the fore the qualities that we like in people, especially in our leaders. These are qualities that have all but disappeared from the treasury benches since Dr Singh left office as prime minister in 2014. 

The qualities include the idea of grace, the charm of the understated, a restrained manner of speech, an approach marked by humanity, a distinct sense of simplicity and humility, a keen sense of listening, and a resolute refusal to use words that could wound. Add to that a sense of hesitancy, if not an outright refusal to land a punch, and a quick withdrawal of anything that might have looked remotely harsh, even if it was the bitter truth. Combined with Dr Singh’s technical expertise, vast experience, and humble beginnings, these attributes made him an irresistible figure—a leader not just for policy but of values. 

Of course, Dr Singh was not without flaws. History will judge him, as he himself once remarked, perhaps more kindly than his contemporaries did. Critics accused him of presiding over an establishment that lost its way and ceded power to the BJP for the first time in 2014. The man he warned would be “disastrous” as PM succeeded him.

In January 2014, Dr Singh told reporters, “… I sincerely believe that it will be disastrous for the country to have Shri Narendra Modi as the prime minister.” Consider now that Singh himself saw this as a “harsh” comment later and issued a corrective when he was asked years later about the original remark. In 2018, he said, “I did say Modi will be a disaster as the PM. Now I recognise I used a harsh word I should not have used. I don’t want to repeat it. But the time is not far off when the public at large will have the chance to pronounce on the efficacy or otherwise of public policy that has been put in place by Modi-ji.” The statement stands out and will probably remain etched in history as one of the most graceful rejections of the idea of Modi as the Prime Minister of India.

Contrast this with the ugliness with which the politics over Dr. Singh’s funeral is being played out now, with the BJP attack dogs and stooges in the lead. An unnecessary controversy is sought to be raked up over the alleged Congress party mishandling of the last rites of the former Prime Minister Narasimha Rao when he passed away. The difference between grace and gracelessness is as sharp as ever. Almost every issue in the post-Manmohan Singh era is sought to be sensationalised, ‘gimmickised’ and/or communalised. Policies and schemes are underbaked and oversold.

While on the one side, we can see India pouring its heart out in memory of a life journey of grace, on the other, it is a path of bitterness, a pulling down of civility, and finger-pointing. It is the plain truth that the government delayed in naming a memorial spot so that the last rites for Dr Singh were per force conducted at a public crematorium. If that simple statement is accepted, there will be no controversy, and the government can go about fixing it now. 

Generally speaking, it is said leaders ought to be and often are concerned about the legacy they leave behind. Indeed, this is a question that all people are invited to consider at some point in their lives. An exercise used in everyday training programmes, often some version of the original mentioned in Stephen R Covey’s bestseller, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, is simple: participants are asked to imagine their death and then to explore what they might like said at their funeral. The answer mostly has nothing to do with power, money, race, religion, or caste. “What will you be remembered for?” is a question that triggers answers that mostly celebrate service, humanity, and connection. The exercise can help people discover purpose, live more meaningfully, and develop care towards fellow human beings. When the curtain falls, away from the heat of the trivial and the trumped-up, the story is eternal: grace outshines the grandiose, the simple kurta will outshine haute couture, and small actions can speak louder than all the table-pounding, the chest-thumping or the blurting of one-liners.

As we step into the New Year, some of these messages are reinforced even more at a global level, where the respected former US President and Nobel Peace Prize laureate Jimmy Carter passed away in hospice care at the age of 100. The contrast between Carter and Donald Trump, who will be sworn in for a second term as US President on Jan. 20, 2025, once again, is stark. It is a similar story of grace versus gracelessness. Consider Carter’s clear and consistent position on Israel, his fight for the rights of Palestinians, or his words to the American people even before he became president: “If I ever lie to you, if I ever make a misleading statement, don’t vote for me. I would not deserve to be your president.” 

It is true that Carter lost the next election to Ronald Reagan. Manmohan Singh, after two terms, lost to Narendra Modi. Near-term twists led to a gathering storm that dictated the turn of politics in both cases. Yet, long after they are gone, leaders known for their grace will stand out as winners in hearts, minds, and history books.

(The writer is a journalist and faculty member at SPJIMR; Syndicate: The Billion Press)