The alien in our midst

For his mourners will be outcast men,

And outcasts always mourn

These words from Oscar Wilde’s grave tell his sad story more eloquently than any biography. I remembered them when I read the news of the Supreme Court seeking the Centre’s response to allow same-sex marriages under the Special Marriage Act. I also asked myself how is the apex court or the Government of India concerned about personal choices, or private emotions? As long as they do no harm to others, does it really matter whom a man or woman chooses to love, marry and lead a happy life with? Do we need the blessings of the Centre or the approval of the highest court in the land to find happiness in whatever sexual orientation God has given us? We are not apologetic about the colour of our skin or the shape of a nose. Then, why this obsession about one’s sexual preference?

But it is not in India alone that the leper, the cripple, the lesbian are shunned and refused acceptance in “decent” society. At least, Indian scriptures have shown greater tolerance for such men if we remember Arjuna changing his sex and name to Brihannala in the Virata Parva of the Mahabharatha when the Pandava princes had to hide incognito in the forest during the last year of their 13-year exile. Now, the Christian Church is following in the liberal footsteps of Hinduism with a tolerant Jesuit pope who has dared all the accepted tenets of the Church by bravely declaring “If a person is gay and seeks God, who am I to judge?” Francis, whose vision embraces total inclusiveness, begs the same compassion for the lesbian, the transgender, the marginalised. The Roman Catholic Church should be happy to have a leader who no longer cares for narrow-minded dogmas.

These dogmas have existed in the most liberal societies. The British, who claim to be a progressive race, stigmatised and tortured an extraordinarily gifted man who was a poet and playwright by exposing him to ridicule, abuse, and even imprisonment. The tragic life story of Oscar Wilde has become a metaphor for prudish intolerance and cruelty. Are we in the 21st century sliding back in our attitudes to sex, among other things? Calling ourselves humane human beings, do we still dare look upon those who are “different” as outcastes? They do not need your false pity. They simply want to be left alone to live life on their own terms. Anything wrong with that?

LGBT -- lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender people were even considered mentally ill until the World Health Organisation (WHO) gave them a proper nomenclature and described their condition as related to sexual health. It is just one of 55,000 diseases that require certain lifestyle adjustments, not ridicule. This reclassification itself was “to reduce stigma and help social acceptance.”

But public opinion is hard to change, and public acceptance of anything new even more so. The older generation in India has always shown a remarkable preference for “the old order” in all matters. They prefer the older writers, the older artistes, the older way of life. They react violently to anything new. Laws may change, but their attitudes will not. The LGBT population will have a tough time in countries where social tolerance is poor.

For example, India’s top-notch musician who has infused his music with humanitarian causes like embracing transgenders into its fold may never be considered for the title Sangeetha Kalanidhi. But the message he sends out when he sits in the midst of the Jogappas (transgenders) in an intellectual forum consisting of scientists and academicians speaks more eloquently about inclusiveness, even if it does not bring him awards. That is the kind of support that the LBGT community needs.

LGBT rights have made significant progress over the past few years – but only in some parts of the world. But LGBT people still face widespread stigmatisation and persecution in others. A surprising number of countries still punish same-sex relationships by imprisonment or even death in the 21st century.

Official figures indicate that homosexual activity between consenting adults is illegal in more than 70 countries, mostly in the Middle East, Africa and Asia. This is pathetic in this day and age. We need more voices like that of the present day Vatican (long considered a centre of narrow-minded beliefs), which has decided to throw away antiquated beliefs and follow a more humane outlook on life with its myriad beautiful creations “by welcoming, not excluding, by showing compassion and not condemnation.”

Then, we too can sing with the poet “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”