JOIN USBridges are beautiful things. They are symbols of connectivity built in order to overcome not only the division and the separation of places but also the gulf that exists between people. They cover chasms and create unity of mind and heart. By building bridges, we establish contact between two things that are different.
Building bridges, whether physical or emotional, takes time and effort. Unfortunately destroying them proves much easier. While a few hard strokes obliterate the former, all it takes are a few harsh words to break the latter. This is well-described by the phrase ‘burning bridges’. When you burn a bridge, you annihilate a means of getting across. Sadly, when a human bridge is destroyed, a good relationship is broken.
Unfortunately burning bridges happens often and for many reasons. One way of preventing this is to be aware of how this happens. There are occasions in everyone’s life when others irk and provoke you, leaving you out of sorts. Then one over-reacts and makes remarks that wound the other permanently. ‘I’ll never talk to you again’ or ‘I have always hated you’ are some remarks that fly off the tongue. One could also indulge in unkind acts that the other least expects.
Spreading rumours is another tactic.
One of the worst ways of burning bridges is to write an accusatory letter. Rather strangely, this has its helpful side. An incident relating to Abraham Lincoln tells us how. An officer had disobeyed an order and had Lincoln’s secretary Stanton infuriated. He told Lincoln, ‘I’ll sit down, write him a letter giving him a good piece of my mind.’
‘Do so,’ replied Lincoln. ‘Write to him now, while you still have it on your mind. Make it sharp. Cut him all up.’
Stanton wrote the letter and it was a furious one indeed. Then Stanton asked Lincoln, ‘Whom shall I send it by?’
‘Send it!’ exclaimed Lincoln. ‘Why, you don’t send it at all! Tear it up. You have freed your mind of the matter and that is all that is necessary. You never send such letters to anyone. I never do.’
There is a wise saying that goes, ‘Those who know how to build bridges never fall into an abyss'. One may well add, ‘Don’t burn bridges.’