Honour your word

We live in a world where being less than honest has become a way of life. As a matter of routine, we say things that we do not mean. For instance, it is standard practice to say ‘I am fine’ to ‘How are you?’, although this may really be far from the truth. We tell friends to visit and stay with us when we neither have the time nor the inclination for it.

We never lend our books but we promise a friend our copy of a best-seller well aware that we will not do so. We tell our children that we will take them to a restaurant on the weekend and then make lame excuses for not doing so. Our New Year resolutions are forgotten in a few days. We do not attach importance to such behaviour but when practiced long enough, it becomes a habit and then it is that trouble begins.

Slowly but steadily, we lose our credibility with others. Loss of credibility leads to loss of trust and soon others begin to doubt us even when we speak the truth. We now feel let down and defensive, telling ourselves that we did this only to please them and make them happy. We are however desperate to remedy the situation.

Experts are of the opinion that at this point it is advisable to develop an honesty-philosophy. It requires us to go on a ‘truth-fast’ for a week, during which time one is completely honest, abjuring all falsehoods however small, in both words and deeds. This will provide not only relief but will also be life-changing. It helps us to reflect on our behaviour so far and understand the value of keeping one’s word. We realise that in our great desire to accomplish goals, we become people-pleasers who say things that are agreeable to make others fall in line with our plans. It is a short-sighted view, guaranteed to bring unhappiness.

When you promise someone that you will do something, do it. Make sure you honour your word. Polonious, of Shakespeare’s Hamlet spoke truly when he said, ‘To thine own self be true. And it must follow, as night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.’