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The fault-finder

Last Updated 29 April 2021, 22:18 IST

One of the easiest things in the world is to become a fault- finder. In fact, almost every one of us falls into this category. Consider any get-together. The talk at informal gatherings first consists of mundane, everyday happenings. Then suddenly it turns to unsavoury events and the excitement builds up. Everyone has something to say. We are critical of the world, of politics and of people who see differently from the way we do. The conversation is peppered with those who look different, think different and act different. It includes the school the children go to, the teachers, people who do well in life and those who don’t. The tendency to point out flaws is a universal one and we feel self-righteous indulging in it. The point though is whether this exercise makes better people of us.

Not all criticism is undeserved and fault-finding is certainly one way of bringing in improvement. However, to make a habit of it is both self-defeating and harmful. First of all, fault-finding can quickly turn into a pernicious habit. No human being is perfect and so there are plenty of occasions when we can carp and criticize. Doing this too often though makes the mind dwell on the unpleasant side of life and soon that is all one sees. The individual becomes unable to see the brighter side of things and turns cantankerous and unapproachable.

A dour person such as this lacks a sense of humour. His inability to see the lighter side of events will drive people away from him. The ensuing loneliness will only fuel his unpleasant outlook and strengthen it. The inevitable result is that others avoid him as they would rather do without his company.

According to one study, we have anywhere from 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day but often 98% of them are negative ones. These can deplete the body by giving rise to chemicals that weaken it. We can however consciously reverse this trend by adopting a less critical attitude. It lies in overlooking minor imperfections and small mistakes. We learn more about others and become more open-minded and tolerant. Our relationships get better when we let go. This is easy when we remind ourselves of the wise saying, ‘To belittle is to be little’.

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(Published 29 April 2021, 20:21 IST)

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