In the name of names

“I wish parents asked their children what they would like to be called,” she said and took a sip of her black coffee. I was sitting across her, admiring the way she was spiffily dressed, her highlighted, straightened hair tamed by the CC sunglasses perched on her widow’s peak. Her pointed chin signalled a resolute, strong woman who knew where she was coming from and going.

“Hmm. The mandatory birth certificate demands a name within a month of birth, or it was so when my kids were born,” I murmured. “Then, legally we should be able to change our name easily when we are 18, shouldn’t we?” she asked with irritation lacing her comments.

Frankly, I did not know what all this was in aid of. She was my favourite niece. “Aunt, I am talking about my name!” she growled. “I dread introducing myself. Immediately, people expect me to give them a shoulder to cry on or to bring out my chequebook and write a handsome amount with a flourish and a full stop.”

Ping went my mental bell. I could see where this whole conversation was heading. “Why did my parents give me this name: Karunya? They just don’t have a reasonable answer other than a puerile, ‘We loved its uniqueness for our darling daughter’!”

“You know Aunt, parents should not give value-based names to children. It is a huge burden on them. I have this friend Shanthi and she is a lesson in hyper-reaction, a quick-gun Murugan. And, my cousin Dharma is one of those proverbial crooked-as-a-gem clip guys I have in my contacts list. Many of my colleagues have these holier than thou names and hate it. Mridula is as prickly as a cactus, Anandi is the worst cynic ever who always moans and groans, Swetha is upto all kinds of hanky-panky...the list is endless”.

In my generation, we inherited the names of grandparents. The first grandchild took the paternal grandparents’ name; the second child, the maternal grandparents’. In joint families, children’s names were shortened as ladies dared not utter the names of elders or the husband. It was safer to be a Kamala, Vimala, Meena or Bama than have fancy names referring to a quality. Nicknames were Angichi or Dandu, Subbu, Gopulu or Kunju, Raasham or Reghu. Some kids were called by their physical attributes like Chotu or Lambu, Dindi (glutton) or Shoni (thin), Pappa or Thambi.

Nowadays, there is fierce competition among parents to give obscure names. A whole evening can be spent at a party discussing children’s names, the origin and etymology. My family has names that we oldies cannot recall easily like Ahiri, Avyukth, Niharika, Naajy, Sadik and Satatya. What they mean, please don’t ask.

Then, Karunya looked up from her iPhone and said in a bewildered tone. “Look at this WhatsApp message from Anna. His new born twins are named Arjun and Sita! What must he be thinking?”