<p class="bodytext">We all know people who have a way of pushing the wrong buttons and evoking angry reactions in casual encounters from people who don’t normally lose their cool. Such exchanges will go all the way from replays of past pain points to blame fixing, denial and worse. It could be a staffer, somebody on a WhatsApp group, a family member or even a belligerent interviewee fielding questions from a TV anchor who is guilty of this. I know someone who works in a place of worship who flies into a rage at the drop of a hat giving worshippers a mouthful for minor transgressions.</p>.<p class="bodytext">This outpouring of anger vitiates the whole atmosphere disturbing energies and affecting even the bystanders. There is shock, silence or added friction. The direct victim of this crossfire will be left with his mood and emotions deeply affected. One loses his/her natural self, is always on guard, tending to stonewall interactions and avoiding eye contact.</p>.<p class="bodytext">If you ever find yourself in such a moment, remember you are the one who holds the keys to peace. Since it takes two to tango, don’t react. Refuse to be drawn in. Step away and catch your breath.</p>.<p class="bodytext">Trying to counter word for word and win the argument is fruitless if one person is unwilling to see reason. As often happens it is the same arguments that are advanced ad nauseum. Why fight the same fight? That slippery slope is best avoided. The arguments made in a surcharged atmosphere are not the best ones. </p>.<p class="bodytext">It is good to remember a few rules: Don’t argue when hungry. Often it is not something that appears to be the issue at hand that’s the cause. It is a host of other things that preceded the flare up. The person who goes on the offensive didn’t deal with past issues effectively and that perceived slight was perhaps allowed to fester and an outlet was found in the present. </p>.<p class="bodytext">You have to learn to see through this. If corrective action is taken, mistakes won’t be repeated. Some of us refuse to let go of the baggage of the past, choosing to revisit and amplify it. </p>.<p class="bodytext">A wise approach would be to be Zen-like, focusing on that divine, serene spot in the heart centre and praying for better sense to dawn on the angry person. Like all good habits, it takes time and practice before red flags are spotted early on to safeguard one’s equanimity.</p>
<p class="bodytext">We all know people who have a way of pushing the wrong buttons and evoking angry reactions in casual encounters from people who don’t normally lose their cool. Such exchanges will go all the way from replays of past pain points to blame fixing, denial and worse. It could be a staffer, somebody on a WhatsApp group, a family member or even a belligerent interviewee fielding questions from a TV anchor who is guilty of this. I know someone who works in a place of worship who flies into a rage at the drop of a hat giving worshippers a mouthful for minor transgressions.</p>.<p class="bodytext">This outpouring of anger vitiates the whole atmosphere disturbing energies and affecting even the bystanders. There is shock, silence or added friction. The direct victim of this crossfire will be left with his mood and emotions deeply affected. One loses his/her natural self, is always on guard, tending to stonewall interactions and avoiding eye contact.</p>.<p class="bodytext">If you ever find yourself in such a moment, remember you are the one who holds the keys to peace. Since it takes two to tango, don’t react. Refuse to be drawn in. Step away and catch your breath.</p>.<p class="bodytext">Trying to counter word for word and win the argument is fruitless if one person is unwilling to see reason. As often happens it is the same arguments that are advanced ad nauseum. Why fight the same fight? That slippery slope is best avoided. The arguments made in a surcharged atmosphere are not the best ones. </p>.<p class="bodytext">It is good to remember a few rules: Don’t argue when hungry. Often it is not something that appears to be the issue at hand that’s the cause. It is a host of other things that preceded the flare up. The person who goes on the offensive didn’t deal with past issues effectively and that perceived slight was perhaps allowed to fester and an outlet was found in the present. </p>.<p class="bodytext">You have to learn to see through this. If corrective action is taken, mistakes won’t be repeated. Some of us refuse to let go of the baggage of the past, choosing to revisit and amplify it. </p>.<p class="bodytext">A wise approach would be to be Zen-like, focusing on that divine, serene spot in the heart centre and praying for better sense to dawn on the angry person. Like all good habits, it takes time and practice before red flags are spotted early on to safeguard one’s equanimity.</p>
