The insidious effect of flattery

I had to use all my diplomatic skills to console my boss, either by pretending to be offended or by praising him highly.

The memories of incidents from my service are vivid and often regale me. My immediate boss, who joined the service later, was junior to the head of the department (HoD), despite being college buddies. The HoD frequently irked my boss with sarcastic remarks on the file, like “the file is moving fast. Very good!” My boss would become exasperated, suspecting my involvement in those notings as I was a technical assistant to the HoD. I had to use all my diplomatic skills to console him, either by pretending to be offended or by praising him highly.

He seemed to possess narcissistic traits and would be over the moon with praise. He couldn’t keep a secret and had no qualms about revealing things confided in good faith to everyone else. I found myself in a state of disrepair many times. When confronted about it, he argued, “You shouldn’t have told it to me if you don’t have the courage to say it in front of anyone.”

Once, when I entered his office, he was visibly anxious and deep in thought. Upon seeing me, he drew me into a conversation and insisted I honestly tell him who was more handsome, the HoD or him. I was caught between the devil and the deep sea. If I said he was more handsome than the HoD, he would tell the HoD the same and subject me to his wrath. If I said the HoD was more handsome, I’d anger my boss. 

Without batting an eyelid, I slyly retorted, “Your charm is entirely different from his. Like Ramakrishna Hegde and Rajiv Gandhi, who lost their hair after becoming chief minister and prime minister, respectively, he too has lost his hair after becoming the HoD. But you, like great personalities like Jawaharlal Nehru, Mahatma Gandhi, and several leading scientists, have no hair.” He was pleased with my response, and I left his office peacefully.

The next day, my boss summoned me to his office. Fate had a different plan for me. He appeared agitated. Soon after seeing me, he said he discussed my statement with his better half. She remarked, “Your officer, who did not have the gumption to tell the truth, compared your handsomeness to great personalities who are bald, just to please you. Have you not seen your office peon and the janitor who sweeps our road, who are also bald? Can you compare yourself to them?

I was shocked by his statement and tried to defend myself, but he was in no mood to buy my arguments.

Though my statement, made without realising its disquieting implications, was subjectively honest, it backfired. I had no choice but to keep my
head down.