The unforgettable Prof Bumble

Ashrafi Antia tells the story of an absent-minded professor who becomes a hero overnight

Professor Boman Bardoliwala was not someone you’d easily forget, though he might very well forget you. The Chemistry professor at Clifford’s College was known for his absent-mindedness. Quite often he’d enter the classroom wearing mismatched socks or with his frizzy hair uncombed. His waistcoat, fighting a losing battle against his bulging stomach, looked as if the large button holding it together might pop at any minute.

The students had nicknamed him professor Bumble. It was not unusual to find him lecturing the wrong class, the students gaping open-mouthed at him. “What’s the matter? Don’t you understand what I’m saying?” he’d ask, only to be informed in a chorus that this was the history class, not the chemistry one.

Many a time, he’d be searching high and low for his spectacles when they could be found mounted on top of his head all the while. Despite his absent-mindedness, he was good at his job and well-liked by both his students and colleagues. “Just call me professor Bommy,” he would say smiling, when people struggled to pronounce his last name, oblivious of the fact that they referred to him as professor Bumble.

One day, as professor Boman was leaving college, he saw some juniors tossing around a bottle of Diet Coke. The bottle exploded and a geyser of Coke spewed out of it, spraying all the boys standing nearby. They were getting ready to launch another one when the professor stopped them. Curious to learn how it worked, he was told that this happened when Mentos (a brand of candy) was added to Diet Coke. “Interesting,” he said confiscating both the Coke and the candy much to the boys’ dismay, saying, “It’s dangerous to play around with something like this.”

Professor Boman was secretly itching to try it out himself and understand the science behind it.

Walking towards the bus stop with the large bottle of Diet Coke tucked under his arm, the professor popped a Mentos into his mouth. From the corner of his eye he noticed two hooligans harassing Shanti, a shy, conscientious student of his. “Stop that at once,” he yelled to one of the boys who had grabbed Shanti who was resisting his amorous advances.

“How are you going to stop me, old man?” the cheeky rowdy responded. “I..I..I’ll report you to the police,” professor Boman stammered. Turning to his accomplice, the rowdy ordered, “Teach the meddling professor a lesson!”

The ruffian swaggered towards him with a menacing air. Thinking quickly, professor Boman emptied the roll of Mentos into the Coke bottle and gave it a good shake. Just then the man grabbed him, twisting his arms behind his back, making him wince.

“Next time you threaten to report us, I’ll break your arm,” he growled menacingly. The professor’s waistcoat button — which was hanging by a thread — popped, flying straight into Shanti’s accoster’s eye, causing him to let go of her. “Run,” yelled the professor, dropping the heavy bottle of Coke on the thug’s toe. “Ouch,” he cried, reflexively letting go of Boman’s arms. The professor sprinted with alarming agility for his size, just as the bottle erupted, spraying Coke all over the crook. “That will teach you not to mess with me,” cried the professor as he and Shanti jumped onto an approaching bus and sped away.

Shanti reported the incident to the police and the rowdies were thrashed and locked up for a few days. They were warned not to go near the girl and the professor, or next time they wouldn’t be let off so easily. The story spread like wildfire. Professor Boman was no longer known as professor Bumble.

He was now called ‘Bombing Bommy’. He smiled as he heard it whispered in awe in the corridors as he passed by. To this day the story of unforgettable professor ‘Bombing Bommy’ does the rounds at Clifford’s College.

(Ashrafi is a children’s writer.)