Handling harassment with sense and sensitivity

Teachers should not only prevent students from being bullied but from being bullies, writes Suryakumari Dennison.

When a teenager refused to continue her studies at the school she had attended since kindergarten, her parents enrolled her elsewhere. Their daughter was being bullied. Members of the faculty, if aware of her anguish, could not, or would not, attempt to alleviate it. Fortunately, the girl was removed from that toxic environment.

Exchanging one school for another, however, is not necessarily a solution. Bullies are found in several academic institutions, where they target kids whom they perceive as inferior to themselves. They generally pick on the shy and withdrawn, those without a strong circle of friends. Such children could be facing health issues or tension at home, but bullies lack consideration. They drive students, already perhaps suffering from low self-esteem, into depression. Those who experience physical and/or emotional abuse at school could be psychologically scarred for life.

Unfortunately, those thus tormented tend to believe that they have to undergo daily discomfort because their wrongs cannot be redressed. They hope that the situation will improve, and when it does not, they silently endure maltreatment in the classroom and cafeteria, on the bus and on the sports field. They get pushed around, literally and metaphorically, and are scorned if they stumble, at work or at play. They might also be taunted if their appearance or accent does not conform to the standards set by the arrogant autocrats who hurt and humiliate them.

Since students who are being bullied may not seek help, it is up to their mentors to make the first move. Teachers should watch for signs of distress on a person’s face or in their body language. Gentle probing is likely to elicit information, but the enquiry must be pursued with patience. A child may long to be free of the burden of bullying, but hesitate to disclose the identity of the offender. The refusal to ‘snitch’ may be honourable, but in this case, it is unacceptable. The teacher must obtain the name of the oppressor. This is not only to protect the person who is confiding in a sympathetic adult. It also ensures that a student who is upsetting others receives remedial attention. 

In her book, ‘Bullying’, Carla Delos discusses various forms of bullying, ranging from relatively harmless pranks to acts of deliberate cruelty. She explains that the perpetrators of these misdeeds have no idea of the extent to which they impair the stability of those who are weak and vulnerable. If challenged, they defend themselves by saying, “It was only a joke,” or “No one told me it was wrong,” or “They deserved it.” The writer points out that bullies must realise these are baseless excuses. Only then can they shake off the shackles of brutality that enslave them. Bullies require support as much as their victims.

Schools with student councils have an advantage in dealing with bullying, as prefects can assist teachers in addressing the problem. Even in the absence of elected leaders, monitors will be appointed to maintain discipline. If they observe that a child seems consistently unhappy at school, they should urge the child to bring this to the teachers’ notice. A few responsible students, trusted by their teachers and popular with their peers, can bring about wholesome change. 

Not on their own, of course! For that matter, teachers, too, may not be qualified to address bullying without guidance and input from caring and competent counsellors. Regular talk-therapy sessions will definitely be useful, with the ‘terrors’ of the school encouraged to voice their views. Those wayward youngsters must be made to understand that they will not be dreaded and disliked if they stop bullying and start befriending!

(The author is a long-standing educator)