JOIN USHow to be happy in dark times
Behavioural scientists have spent a lot of time studying what makes us happy (and what doesn't). We know happiness can predict health and longevity and happiness scales can be used to measure social progress and the success of public policies. But happiness isn't something that just happens to you. Everyone has the power to make small changes in our behaviour, our surroundings and our relationships that can help set us on course for a happier life.
* Conquer negative thinking: All humans have a tendency to be a bit more like Eeyore than Tigger, to ruminate more on bad experiences than positive ones. It's an evolutionary adaptation — over-learning from the dangerous or hurtful situations we encounter through life (bullying, trauma, betrayal) helps us avoid them in the future and react quickly in a crisis.
But, that means you have to work a little harder to train your brain to conquer negative thoughts. Here's how: Don’t try to stop negative thoughts. Telling yourself "I have to stop thinking about this," only makes you think about it more. Instead, own your worries. When you are in a negative cycle, acknowledge it. "I'm worrying about money." "I'm obsessing about problems at work." Treat yourself like a friend. When you are feeling negative about yourself, ask yourself what advice would you give a friend who was down on herself. Now try to apply that advice to you.
* Controlled breathing: Science is just beginning to provide evidence that the benefits of this ancient practice are real. Studies have found, for example, that breathing practices can help reduce symptoms associated with anxiety, insomnia, post-traumatic stress disorder, depression and attention deficit disorder. For centuries, yogis have used breath control, or pranayama, to promote concentration and improve vitality. Buddha advocated breath-meditation as a way to reach enlightenment.
* Rewrite your story: Writing about oneself and personal experiences — and then rewriting your story — can lead to behavioural changes and improve happiness. (We already know that expressive writing can improve mood disorders and help reduce symptoms among cancer patients, among other health benefits.) Some research suggests that writing in a personal journal for 15 minutes a day can lead to a boost in overall happiness and well-being, in part because it allows us to express our emotions, be mindful of our circumstances and resolve inner conflicts. Or you can take the next step and focus on one particular challenge you face, and write and rewrite that story.
* Get moving: When people get up and move, even a little, they tend to be happier than when they are still. A study that tracked the movement and moods of cellphone users found that people reported the most happiness if they had been moving in the past 15 minutes than when they had been sitting or lying down. Most of the time it wasn't rigorous activity, but just gentle walking that left them in a good mood. Of course, we don't know if moving makes you happy or if happy people just move more, but we do know that more activity goes hand-in-hand with better health and greater happiness.
* Practice optimism: Optimism is part genetic, part learned. Even if you were born into a family of gloomy Guses, you can still find your inner ray of sunshine. Optimism doesn't mean ignoring the reality of a dire situation. After a job loss, for instance, many people may feel defeated and think, "I'll never recover from this." An optimist would acknowledge the challenge in a more hopeful way, saying: "This is going to be difficult, but it’s a chance to rethink my life goals and find work that truly makes me happy."
And thinking positive thoughts and surrounding yourself with positive people really does help. Optimism, like pessimism, can be infectious. So make a point to hang out with optimistic people.