JOIN USWith love, from Desmund Tutu
Archbishop Emeritus Desmond Tutu, who passed away on December 26, 2021, will be fondly remembered for seizing every possible opportunity to advocate for LGBT rights. He did not express his allyship in small measure; he went all out to proclaim his support. Even the most rebellious people chicken out when they get a taste of power but Tutu did not.
At the launch of the United Nations Free and Equal Campaign Against Homophobia and Transphobia in 2013, he said, “I would refuse to go to a homophobic heaven. No, I would say sorry, I mean I would much rather go to the other place.” Such magnificent articulation can come only from someone who has thought deeply about the consequences of his words. I wonder if the Arch, as he was lovingly addressed, ever got a chance to watch the American television series Pose created by Ryan Murphy, Brad Falchuk and Steven Canals. I imagine that he would have been moved by Season 3, particularly the episode wherein Pray Tell — the gay fashion designer played by Billy Porter — returns home to reconnect with his birth family. When Pray arrives in Pittsburgh, where he was born and raised, his mother Charlene is curious about the life that he has built in New York over the last two decades. At first, he struggles to speak because what he is about to say is absolutely terrifying. Eventually, he says, “I have AIDS. I am dying. I have been HIV positive for six years, and I didn’t want to burden y’all until it became serious. I know that we’ve already been through so much.” It is a cathartic reunion not only for Pray and Charlene but also his aunts Latrice and Jada, Pray’s former lover Vernon who is now a pastor, and Pray’s best friend Ebony who is now married to Vernon. This series highlights the toll that religious stigma can take on LGBT people and their families. When Latrice blames his sexuality for his suffering and asks God to save him from eternal damnation, Pray says, “I don’t need your prayers. I need your love.” While watching this episode, I thought about Tutu’s relentless advocacy aimed at fellow Christians who participate in the persecution of LGBT people. He would have understood Pray, stood with him, held his hand, and hugged him. He would have patiently listened to Pray who wants to forgive all those who have wronged him but only after they apologise.
In addition to AIDS, Pray has been diagnosed with lymphoma. His doctor thinks that he has only six months to live. Pray wants to part on a peaceful note after telling his birth family that he loves them. This is quite tough for him because his mother failed to protect him from getting physically abused by his biological father and sexually assaulted by his stepfather.
As a queer person who knows many LGBT people who have been abandoned by their families, I could feel Pray’s disappointment in his elders. He is upset when Latrice uses the words ‘homosexuality’ and ‘paedophilia’ in the same breath. She claims to care about him but she does not understand the basic difference between consensual lovemaking and rape. I wonder what Tutu would have said to Vernon, who loves Pray but is married to Ebony. They also have children. Ebony wants Pray to teach her how to please her husband. She knows that the two men used to be lovers, so she is desperate to learn how to make Vernon “feel good.” Pray empathises with her but does not understand why she blames herself.
Faith is a complicated subject. The creators of this series have made a genuine effort to deal with it sensitively. Before he leaves for New York, Pray visits the church with his mother and sings his heart out. The depth of his love and the intensity of his devotion can be felt by everyone who is present in this house of worship. Pray has not given up on God; God’s self-appointed representatives have banished him. He is at peace. He is ready to go home.
(The author is a freelance writer, journalist and book reviewer.)