JOIN USThe joys of a solo sojourn
Author-playwright Manjula Padmanabhan’s travel memoir Getting There is a re-edited version of an earlier book. However, it still makes for a relevant read 20 years later.
In the Author’s Note, she explains that the new version emerged after a friend pointed out, that “it didn’t read like a novel.” Manjula embarked on this solo journey of self-discovery to the US and Europe in 77-78. She has altered family details and changed all names, except hers, “in order to spare the feelings of my older relatives.” The revised account is a delightful narrative of her younger days. Manjula was in her 20s, struggling with challenges, be it her career as an author-illustrator or her diet drama.
It takes courage to lay your life threadbare, expose your vulnerabilities and highlight your foibles. And it is admirable that she wrote the original version 20 years back, when perhaps society was much more judgemental.
She revisits her misadventures in a witty manner as she takes the reader on a voyage through New York, Pennsylvania, London, Munich and Holland. The journey is significant metaphorically too as Manjula oscillates between her disenchantment with her fiancé Prashant and her new-found crush for her Dutch buddy Piet. The road to self-realisation takes her through various pathways, before she eventually finds herself. Excerpts from an interview.
This is a deeply personal memoir. What kind of reactions are you anticipating?
Like I said, this book appeared in print 20 years ago. The reason I felt the need for a new edition is (a) there’s a more adventurous generation of readers out there now, people who might identify with my reckless, perhaps even suicidal behaviour and (b) I always wanted to end the narrative as it does now.
You clearly have mentioned that you were not in love with Prashant. So why did it take you so long to let go?
Because he was (and still is) a genuinely handsome, sweet, good-natured guy. I really liked him. But, I felt I would ruin both our lives if we got married: I never wanted children, for instance. I honestly did not believe in the institution of marriage as a solution to all of life’s big questions. It wasn’t easy to leave the comfort of that relationship for the hostile world outside of it — but I HAD to do it. To save both of us from misery.
You have exposed all the demons in your head. Are you not afraid of being judged harshly?
Most people have done all kinds of terrible things in their youth that they’re shame-faced about in later years.
We have all read shocking revelations from other people, many of them well-known celebrities. By contrast, I would say, my story is extremely tame.
I agree with your friend Mickey, I feel you always were attracted to Piet, but didn’t want to accept it...
With the advantage of hindsight, I can see that Mickey was both right and wrong; yes, I was infatuated. But no, Piet really wasn’t my ultimate goal.
I wasn’t seeking a “happily ever-after” situation. I really was on a quest to “find myself”. I think I succeeded.
Even though this is a travel memoir, there seems to be no excitement about visiting these cities. Why is it so?
My father was in the Foreign Service and I grew up in Europe/Southeast Asia — so yes, I was already, at 25, a little jaded.
You seem to have had a love-hate relationship with food. Have you found your balance?
Yes, I would say I have found my balance. I eat carefully but am not “on diet”. I don’t have food cravings, I am not overweight. I continue to feel that hot buttered toast is the best snack EVER.
You have identified yourself as a loner. Is that how you still see yourself?
I love my solitude. I’m 67 right now; 25 at the time that I went on that trip; 45 (approximately) when I wrote the first edition of the book. Through all the changes, I had to spend huge chunks of time completely alone. I spend most of the year in the US, alone in a tiny apartment, despite belonging to a large and diverse family.
There is an underlying sadness in your memoir. Is Manjula a happy person?
I was extremely unhappy at the time of that journey! That’s why I was willing to take such extreme steps to correct the imbalance in my life. But today, I would say that I’ve spent most of my (now very long) life feeling lit up from within. Deeply grateful and yes, very happy.