Don't be easy bait!

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at [e-mail].

Dear Saheli,
I’m 19-years-old. My passion for sex has always been number one. Whenever I see a woman I am attracted to, I feel very horny and start imagining stuff. I’m still a virgin and to pleasure myself, I masturbate often. But I still don’t feel any real pleasure. I think I will feel the same way when I lose my virginity. I’m a fitness enthusiast and also 6’3. I’ve had a girlfriend before but that was back in my 10th. I don’t know what to do or how to get rid of this horny feeling. Please help me find my pleasure. Thank you!
Pleasure Seeker

Dear Pleasure Seeker,
Maybe you are borny (bored+horny). Maybe the pleasure you expect to feel in your head can never be matched by your body. The next time you are seeking pleasure, switch off your thoughts. Listen to how your body is feeling, like how you do in a perfect workout. Don’t worry if it is ‘real’ pleasure or ‘fake’. When you are with a woman it will be real enough and hopefully, she won’t be faking it.

Hi Saheli,
I am a young girl and I have had a crush for the past 3 years. Year one — he was friendly and used to tease me sometimes. Year two — my friends began to tease me with him. He used to blush and smile when that happened. One of my friends asked him whether he knew that I like him. He said he knew before she did. How? When his friends asked him whether he likes me, he said no. Year three — he began chatting online with me. We used to chat quite long, from casual matters to personal matters. My friends say he stares at me when I’m not looking at him. Also in Year three, he looks deep into my eyes when we speak. My question is does he like me back or is he just a friend? There are several signs which make me feel he likes me.
Miss Don’t Know

Hi Miss Don’t Know,
He can look into your eyes a hundred times or watch every breath you take or follow every move you make — it doesn’t matter. He has already informed his friends he doesn’t like you. Why are you looking for signs when his words have closed the tunnel of love? He seems to be baiting you with a possible romance but not committing to one. Move on. Be with someone who is unafraid to love you; who will not confuse you; who will, in front of your friends shout-out, ‘she is the one’. You deserve to be with someone who is proud to be with you.