Love always wins

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at [e-mail].

Hey Saheli,
I saw my aunt and our neighbour kissing. I’m sure they are having an affair. Should I tell my uncle? He is a very boring man while my aunt is outgoing and beautiful.
Confused Nephew

Hey Confused Nephew,
Your aunt seems to be taking love thy neighbour quite literally. I can see that your sympathies lie with her. My take is that you don’t need to be judge or jury. As long as she isn’t failing in her ‘aunt duties,’ her life is her business. Or in this case, your neighbour’s.

Dear Saheli,
I’m a transwoman in love with a man. We got married recently. The problem is my father-in-law. He hates me. He even tried to hit me once, but my husband stood between us. I know I should just ignore the hate, I’ve seen it all my life … but I want all of us to be one big, happy family. Even though I should be happy now, I feel depressed. Please help.
Mrs T

Dear Mrs T,
The problem is not you but society which has painted this picture of what a ‘happy family’ looks like. The truth is, you can have a ‘big, happy family’ with just two people — you and your husband. I’m sure there’s enough love between both of you to make it as BIG as you want. I also think you are missing out on all the advantages of your father-in-law hating you — (i) No in-law problems as you have a valid reason to keep away; (ii) You get to spend more time with your husband and not in some silly family parties where everybody is so judge-ey; (iii) Booting out transphobia from your life. Be happy, for love always wins.