Rock the boat

Sexi Saheli is a weekly column of answers to questions you never dared to ask. If something is troubling you and there’s not a soul you can speak to, write to Sexi Saheli at sexisaheli@ deccanherald.co.in.

Dear Madam,
I am a 70-year-old man and I have two wives. One is in Mysuru and the other is in Bengaluru. One wife has blessed me with two children, the other wife hasn’t. I don’t mind. The problem is they don’t know of each other. I have a heart problem and I may go soon. My mind is very troubled. After 45 years, should I tell them the truth?
Thank you,
Mr T

Dear Mr T (Hopefully it doesn’t stand for two-timing),
I am impressed by your dual duplicity and to carry it on for 45 years is two-much. I hope you know bigamy is illegal in India. What if one of your wives files a case against you? The last few years of your life may have to be spent in jail (a cage of your own making, no doubt). Also, the wife you married second will have no legal right to your property, etc., (I hope you’ve made suitable provisions). I think it depends on what kind of person you are. Do you want to see the movie called
My Life to the very end or do you want to quietly exit before the climax? The answer to this question will help you make your choice.

Hi Saheli,
There is a girl in my apartment and I really like her. I think if I asked her out it would disturb both our academic lives. I don't know what to do — should I ask her out or not?
Apartment Boy

Hi Apartment Boy,
Keeping apart in an apartment is not easy. Also, if you don’t ask her out, someone else may. Would you prefer you ruining her academic life or another boy? Just kidding. I think if you can be disciplined and create a balance in your social and academic life, leave her academic life to her. If you can multitask, ask her out.

Dear Saheli,
I have had an arranged marriage. Actually, my mother-in-law chose me. My husband is nice but reserved. So far, it has been a good experience. However, last week, my mother-in-law asked for all my gold and fixed deposits to be put in her name. What should I do?
New Bride

Dear New Bride,
All that glitters is not gold. This sounds most suspicious. Is she a gold digger? Say that you can’t take out the deposits as it’s in a 5-year fixed term in the bank and the gold has to be in your name as there is a loan on it. After 5 years, you’ll know what kind of person she is and whether she is gilt-y of greed. Right now, you Midas well keep your gold and watch your back.