JOIN USYour mountain is waiting
Dear Saheli,
I am your grandmother’s age. I have had a successful career and am retired now. My greatest wish is to go see the Himalayas before I die. My daughter is not letting me as she thinks I’m not fit enough. Please help me convince her.
Sudha
Dear Sudha,
Are you the daughter or the mother? Why ask for permission from someone who had to be taught how to brush her teeth and tie her shoelaces? Yes, you may love her, but if you want to reach heights, stop asking for permission. As Dr Seuss said, ‘Today is your day! Your mountain is waiting … so get on your way!’
Hi Saheli,
I’m gay. My boyfriend and I role play a lot — now he wants to have a threesome. A few of our friends do and I don’t think it’s bad. It’s just that I feel it is cheating and the thought nauseates me. I am a one-guy-at-a-time person. I want to tell my partner this but I’m scared if I say so, he will break-up with me. We have been together five years and he is the keeper of my heart. Please help.
Paddy
Dear Paddy,
The keeper of your heart can’t become the destroyer of it. Doing anything that makes you uncomfortable is a ‘no’ in a healthy relationship. Tell him how you feel. If he leaves after that, this is not the love you deserve. Also, what if your distaste paralyses your performance? If you want to disappoint two people at the same time, just have dinner with your parents. It will be less hassle-free and you may get to eat some great food too.
Dearest Saheli,
I am from a small town married to someone in Bengaluru. It was an arranged marriage and he is good but is not letting me work. He doesn’t make enough money and for every rupee I spend, I have to give him accounts. I have done my B.Ed. His mother calls me every day from our hometown asking what I have cooked for him which I don’t like. Help me.
Divya
Dearest Divya,
If you don’t take control of your life, you will continue to be controlled by your husband and his mother. Get your resume done and apply for jobs. Once you get a job, work on your husband. Say you want to earn to buy ‘something which you know he is dying to have.’ As for your mother-in-law, when you are ‘working’, you’ll be too busy to pick-up such jobless calls.