There are many ways of measuring success

Dear Madam,

After UG, I have taken a gap year to study for entrance exams for my PG. Initially, I was keen on doing master's but now am more inclined to take up a job. I have been searching for a job for the past few months but have not cracked any interview so far. Now I have lost confidence and am clueless as to what I really want to do. Please advise.

Naveen

Dear Naveen,

Due to the current economic scenario, finding a job has been more challenging. Your inability to find one may only reflect a lack of need in the market, than a reflection of your ability. Given that it may take some time for the economy to start looking up again, you may want to re-evaluate your options. What were your reasons for wanting to work now? What made you change your mind about studying further? What other options do you have? This may be a good time to upskill yourself, even if not within a structured set up. Talk through this with people who have experience in your field of study and get a variety of perspectives to understand the market and the opportunities, and then decide what works for you. But remember, it is okay to make a mistake and chose a wrong path. You can always recover and get back on track. So, let not the fear of failure on either path become your roadblock. All the best.

Dear Madam,

I feel that my parents have always been supportive of my elder sister but that's not the case with me. They tend to snub me but always appreciate my sister as she is the wise one and I am just a dull head. I am not in good books with either my parents or my sister. I now wish to join a dance school but am not able to ask my parents for money. I don't know what to do. Please advise.

Smitha

Dear Smitha,

I am sorry that you feel this way, and I think it will be great if you can access the help of a counsellor who will help you navigate this situation for yourself. Very often it is our perception of what is happening that troubles us more than the actual incident. And often our response and reaction can be changed to make the situation better for us. You may want to access a counselling helpline that offers free support if you do not have the financial freedom to reach out to a counsellor. Remember that you are not alone in feeling this way. Sometimes parents play “favourites” and sometimes we think they are playing “favourites”. But whatever it is, there are ways in which you can communicate your feelings and experience to them and learn ways to get the love and acceptance that you deserve.

Dear Madam,

I followed my heart and now work in the creative field, though I am a science graduate. However, I now regret it as I do not have a decent earning whereas all my classmates and cousins are doing well. I am comparing myself with them and feel bad for myself. Please advise.

Deekshith

Dear Deekshith,

There are many ways of measuring success. Money is only one of them. How much you are earning seems very significant at the start of your career (when small differences have a big impact on your spending ability) but the significance decreases later on, as job satisfaction starts playing a bigger role. While your cousins and classmates may be earning more than you right now (and probably will over their entire career span), their life will also be faced with job stresses and challenges that take their own toll. Know that while you may face more financial challenges, you may get more satisfaction and joy from your work. Everyone’s future is still to unfold so look forward to the surprises and adventures yet to come. Identify other measures of success that are more relevant for your career and life choices. All the best!

Dear Madam,

Both my parents are doctors, and they wish me to become a doctor as well so that I can take over our nursing home one day. But I always wanted to become an astronaut. I understand my parents' concern and know that it is not easy to become an astronaut. So, would you suggest I take the risk and do what I always wanted to or take the road my parents want me to?

Raghav

Dear Raghav,

Maybe it would help you to understand yourself a little better and identify your strengths and interests. Talk to people in the field you want to pursue. What does it entail? What will be the challenges it will present? What will the future look like? What about the field holds your fascination? That way you go into the field being more self-aware of your strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and challenges. You do not go in imagining the path forward to be a bed of roses but recognise the challenges and know if you are up to facing them. And after all this introspection if it still holds your fancy do what your heart says. But do it after engaging your head. As for the nursing home, your parents may always be able to come up with another succession plan. All the best!

Dear Madam,

I am a 4th year Pharm D student but in the second year itself I realised that I have a passion for clinical subjects. So, I now aspire to be a doctor. I attempted NEET in 2020. I had studied a lot but still did not secure a good rank to get a government seat. I still want to appear for NEET but lack confidence. What should I do?

Vidya

Dear Vidya,

It is great that you aspire to become a doctor and you should attempt to try NEET again to get what you want. If you have not been successful this time, you should not lose heart. It does not mean that you should not make another attempt to get to where you want. Try to learn from your last experience to understand where you lost out, what areas you should focus more on, and what can you do differently. Failure at anything is not a problem if you use that as a learning opportunity for the future. See the distance you have already covered and recognise that the next time you take the exam you would have had experience of having done it before, which will make it easier for you. Good luck!