Comic relief! Standing up to the funny side of life

Lots a laughters

“Make Chai Not War.” That’s not your bored-to-death truck driver pulling up at a rickety roadside tea shop for his cuppa.

But a bunch of Indian American stand-up comedians challenging the valuator of political correctness on all things racist, most things South Indian, and some things fundamentally terrorist!

Triggering a riot of laughter, the threesome of Rajeev Satyal, Hari Kondabellur and Azhar Usman stole the show this Friday evening, the audience on a roller-coaster ride lapping it all in mirth.

Satyal pulled up the curtains on the programme--arranged by the Consulate General of the United States and Deccan Herald - with a tricky, tingling poser: “South Indians generally tend to have long surnames. Wonder why, because they were among the first ones on earth and they could’ve easily grabbed the short surnames (short url’s dry up fast on the net).”

Surely, he couldn’t figure out why Gopalchandra Krishna Balasubramanian had to be so long-lasting! The rub on the wrong side was gentle, but the Southies were all ears, smiling ear to ear!

Now, that was a sure invitation for Satyal to race ahead, his acidic take on racist jibes. So, the Indians in America were almonds, “brown on the outside, white on the inside,” the Chinese were bananas “yellow on the outside, white on the inside.” The Indian Americans, like himself, were “coconuts” too, back in the US. “The Indians are hairy people, the men too!” Satyal couldn’t resist that explanation.

On a chilly terrace venue, the audience were warming up fast, preparing for another onslaught, this time about Satyal’s rationale on why Indians were the richest ethnic group. “At parties, you hear the other groups brag about their high spendings.

Indians will never do that. If one of them boasted he bought a video cam for 1,000 dollars, the other would shout, they ripped you off, I got mine for 350.”

They were so, because they were mostly Hindu. Hindus believed in reincarnation, reusing the soul. That way, Satyal was convinced, Hinduism was an “eco-friendly” religion! But Satyal wasn’t done with Indians and savings, yet. “My dad cried only three times. Once when his dad died, next when Raj Kapoor died, and the last time when I told him how much I paid for my jeans.”

Wearing his “South” Indian American identity with apparent labour, Hari Kondabellur had an unresolved angst: “In America, much of Indian culture is North Indian culture. Some ‘Idli’ is all that there is for the South.”

His best was reserved for an evangelist, who beckoned him to Christ. He dumped the idea of being impressed, since a Hindu conversionist would offer him options: An elephant-faced God, a blue-skinned avatar and much more. More importantly, the provision of “reincarnation” was “infinite lifetime guaranteed,” a prospect too mouthwatering!

His long, telling beard came first, then came Azhar Usman, tall, heavily-built and a voice to match. That combo was deadly, but Usman still couldn’t figure out the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button on Google.com. So, he Googled it, and was stumped when the search landed on the Google search page !

“That joke is infinite,” he sighed in resignation. But not before sharing two salvos fired at him by a bunch of American teenagers at a traffic signal. “One called me Osama, another called me Gandhi. I didn’t see the connection. It was like terror through non-violence !”