Press Esc to close
Thursday 31 July 2014
News updated at 3:16 AM IST
Weather
Max: 28.4°C
Min : 20°C
In Bangalore
Generally cloudy

Raising a stink

Shirley Hereford, Nov 14, 2012

He stood motionless with his bag of garbage, as if struck by lightning.

She was a phantom of delight …an apsara, with her squat but well endowed body undulating like a mirage in the distance. She was walking like a dancer towards some unseen spotlight.

I squinted at the sun to clear the sight, but she was as real as my dog pulling on its leash and reminding me of my purpose. Head angled to the right arms akimbo from the waist, her hands extended in some meaningful mudra, she rolled towards me.

 Something was dangling from one wrist, which swayed tantalisingly with each dainty step. Another tug from my dog, Rum, reminded me to keep my eyes fixed on the road which had art inspired mounds of garbage and doggy – do.

The apsara moved passed me and was poised to make a dramatic twirl. It suddenly struck me that this creature was adding to the stockpile of yesterday’s desires lying broken and rotten on the road. My civic sense roared into life as I shouted, “Stop!” and delivered my diatribe on educated people and civic sense.


Without a word, the mute goddess of garbage twirled again and disappeared into the sunset.

I was flying on my newly gained wings of virtuosity when a small blue car stopped a few metres from where Rum was marking his territory.  Something uncoiled itself from the small recesses of the car and stood upright. It was the nubile beauty’s paramour who walked round the hood to launch their stinking stockpile.

My mouth fell open… these mystical creatures from another neighbourhood were on a reconnaissance mission, reviewing possible sites to dump their garbage.

I went hammer and tongs at the tall lanky spindle who pompously declared, “I will throw my garbage where I want. This is not your property. It is a public zone”. Rum and I bristled at the tone as he drew himself even more upright and threw his line “Do you know who I am?”

Should I? He didn’t look like a celebrity from any angle, considering that he was all angles. So I tilted my head inquiringly and cocked my eyebrow. “I am the captain of a ship”.

I almost stood to attention and saluted him, then drew myself to my full height of 5 foot something and bellowed like a buccaneer, “Aye, aye captain! So throw your muck on your ship and keep my coast clear.” The captain was torpedoed by my remark; he volleyed “ My ship is spotless”.  I rallied, “Right! So you think you can pollute my backwaters? Let’s take this offshore captain and ask my uncle, Admiral so and so”. 

The captain looked like a man consigned to waking the plank, while I basked in the glory of newly discovered relations. He stood motionless with his bag of garbage, as if struck by lightning. While I was working on my next move should the captain decide to throw the missile my way, my mongrel tired of being reeled in, made his.

Walking up to the captain he raised his leg in canine effrontery and used the captain’s leg as his lamppost. The watered down sea hero admitted defeat, turned and slunk into the dark recesses of his man of war while I smiled and hummed, “ Ho! Ho! Ho! And a bottle of Rum!” The coast was clear again.

Go to Top

Photo Gallery
Villagers console each other as they watch a rescue operation at the site of a landslide in Malin...

Villagers console each other as they watch a rescue operation at the site of a landslide in Malin...

Barack Obama smiles as he talks about the economy at the Uptown Theater in Kansas City...

Barack Obama smiles as he talks about the economy at the Uptown Theater in Kansas City...

Rescue workers clear the debris at the site of a landslide in Malin village...

Rescue workers clear the debris at the site of a landslide in Malin village...

Palestinian man reacts next to the body of his relative...

Palestinian man reacts next to the body of his relative...

Palestinian boy comforts his father, whom medics said was wounded by Israeli shelling in Shejaia...

Palestinian boy comforts his father, whom medics said was wounded by Israeli shelling in Shejaia...

England's Whitlock competes in men's All-Around Artistic Gymnastics at 2014 Commonwealth Games...

England's Whitlock competes in men's All-Around Artistic Gymnastics at 2014 Commonwealth Games...

England's Stuart Broad celebrates with his teammates after running out India's Murali Vijay...

England's Stuart Broad celebrates with his teammates after running out India's Murali Vijay...

The debris of a hillock after a landslide triggered by heavy rains at Malin village in Pune ...

The debris of a hillock after a landslide triggered by heavy rains at Malin village in Pune ...

Siddaramaiah at the launch of a drinking water unit in Vidhan Soudha premises in Bengaluru ...

Siddaramaiah at the launch of a drinking water unit in Vidhan Soudha premises in Bengaluru ...

Over forty houses were buried in a landslide triggered by heavy rains at Malin village in Pune ...

Over forty houses were buried in a landslide triggered by heavy rains at Malin village in Pune ...

Copyright 2014, The Printers (Mysore) Private Ltd., 75, M.G Road, Post Box 5331, Bangalore - 560001
Tel: +91 (80) 25880000 Fax No. +91 (80) 25880523