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Sharing heartbreak will help heal it

Bashali Adak, Nov 20, 2012

The loss of a romantic relationship can seem to be the biggest disaster of life to a youngster but when it pushes him to take his life, one needs to investigate why the society couldn’t provide him  any emotional support or timely advice.
 
A final year student of BCom at the prestigious Sri Ram College of Commerce recently committed suicide after his girlfriend, reportedly, broke off the relationship. The incident was further lent drama by the fact that he called out to his girlfriend several times to stop her from leaving before finally jumping off from the balcony of his hostel.

Teachers at Delhi University inform Metrolife that such issues are common among students here, especially those coming from outside the Capital and in need of emotional attachment.

Tanveer Aijaz, lecturer in Political Science at Ramjas, says, “We get students from all over India - belonging to different regions, religions, caste, class etc. These social identities, in fact, become the problem when they get into relationships with each other. Believe me, these stories have every element of a good Bollywood potboiler and sometimes become violent and even suicidal.”


“The problem in our varsity is that most colleges do not keep a counsellor as it becom­es tad expensive and the counsellors tend to stay in their office only and not freely interact with the students. Ideally, colleges should appoint a teacher as the local guardian of a few students to help them resolve such issues which crop up frequently at this age. As the warden of Ramjas’ hostel till a while back, I helped a lot of students overcome such situations.”

Dr Pulkit Sharma, psychologist at VIMHANS, explains, “Sometimes, when youngsters see their love interests going away, and know that they can not hurt their partner, they hurt themselves. At this moment, they tend to forget about all the other relationships and achievements in their lives. This happens most often with men.”

“On the other hand, the women who break off from a relationship, and their partner commits suicide, tend to blame themselves all their lives for the mishappening. I advise such women that a relationship involves the welfare of both the people, and if you are not comfortable, you have every right to call it off. Under such circumstances, if a guy commits suicide, it means he was impulsive and had poor emotional control. It is not the girl’s fault.”

Professor Aijaz concurs, “I always tell my students to widen their friend circle beyond just the best friend or boyfriend/girl friend. As a result, even if something goes wrong, you have your friends to fall back on. If that doesn’t help, seek advice from teachers, if not parents. Talk it out, and you will recover from the worst situations.”  

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