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Are virtual friends for real?

Even if you think you are too old or busy to celebrate Friendship Day tomorrow, it’s a good excuse to take some time off for your buddies. LIVING lays out a special spread – looking at the real, fake and everything in between friends

First there was Orkut – the virtual platform that promised a world just like the real one for you and your friends. You could share photos, write messages, chat, compare your music preferences, even write testimonials for each other. Then came Facebook – the mother of all social networking sites and the reigning one even today. Your friend just posted a picture of himself in the bathroom – ‘this is me fresh-faced’, it says. Well, it’s time to like it. Or even better, post a comment. Forget the fact that you find it ridiculous. Hey, you are his friend, aren’t you? So, stop thinking and go like that picture.

Over time, with the help of social media, of course, countless friendships have found themselves in new manifestations. Today, get-togethers of friends at home have been ousted by Skype videos, Facebook communities and Whatsapp groups. Being a true friend to someone translates to putting your stamp on his/her digital profile, liking pictures, commenting on posts (no matter how bizarre they may be), retweeting countless tweets and much more.

The master brains behind social networking sites are of the opinion that their creations have blurred the boundaries of the world, bringing people that much closer to each other.

But, just ask yourself this question: How many people do you really know on your social radar? Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn, Snapchat, Whatsapp – the channels of finding some company in the virtual world are endless...but are they for real?

One of the biggest after-effects of social media has been the fading lines between the reel and the real. With little by way of face-to-face interactions, we find ourselves hiding behind a virtual wall. If you pay close attention, you can experience the ubiquitous silence in corridors of the schools, colleges, washrooms of offices, and even at social gatherings. It’s the silence of missing emotions – laughter is restricted to ‘LOL’, sadness finds an expression in an emoticon and anger translates to blocking someone out digitally.

It’s very easy to establish connections on the web. All it requires is a click of the mouse. But real friendships require your time and attention. It needs your dedicated self to cross that initial shaky bridge of acquaintance, move on ahead of the rocky roads and then cruise onto the highway of friendship. True friends, they say, are those who stick with you, through thick and thin; they never tire of your endless dramas, they give you their honest opinions, they pull you up from depressing depths, they live incredible stories with you and once in a while, they stab you in the front!

“Your life is an open book on social media but everything is impersonal as you are trying to prove your ‘happy’ existence to everyone. Privacy goes out the window the minute you sign up. It doesn’t guarantee the intimacy that fosters a friendship. But having said that, you can also find true friends on social media provided you use the medium with right judgement, which can be tricky most of the time,” says Monica Shivakumar.

We all need real friends. Someone to walk with us when the going gets tough, someone to celebrate our joys, someone to show us a mirror when we need it the most, someone who can be the wind under our wings and spit in our faces when necessary and finally, someone to make us smile. So this Friendship Day, move beyond the illusions, break down the walls and head out to meet your real friends. Share a few laughs, make silly faces, and go on trips together – after all, the only way to have a friend is to be one.