The empty nest syndrome

ALONE, NOT LONELY Vijayalakshmi Shivaram advises you on how to avoid the feeling

There are many conditions that affect the mental status of middle-aged individuals. Mid-life crisis coupled with stress may lead to mental discomfort or anxiety. It is also possible that many people are affected by the empty nest  syndrome.

The empty nest syndrome is a feeling of grief and loneliness that parents undergo when their children leave home for good. This syndrome occurs in women who are in their late 40s and early 50s.

Indian urban women generally get married by early/mid-twenties and have children in their twenties. So by the time they hit 50, their children grow up and leave  home either to pursue their education, careers or because of marriage. A home that was once filled with children and activity will suddenly feel empty, bringing a feeling of loneliness. Here’s how to beat it:

Take up a job or hobby
Keeping oneself occupied is the best solution to beat the blues. Women would have worked hard all these years to raise children, having little time for hobbies and interests. Now is the time to pick up the hobby to beat the loneliness.

Also if one has a job, continuing with the job would be a good idea; or if someone has quit their job in order to take care of the family, it’s the time to rethink and take up some exciting project.

Keep yourself fit
One foolproof and fun way to deal with the emptiness is to get involved in some kind of physical activity. Yoga, walking or hitting the gym a couple of days in a week would be fine. Keeping oneself fit will definitely help in overcoming the syndrome. For a sound mind is a sound body. Exercise really helps to achieve it.

Stay connected
Connect with friends, relatives and your children as well. Technology has made it simple for anybody can be contacted any time.

Then there are social networking sites which can come in handy in connecting with children who are outside of home. Also, you can involve and guide them if needed, in their activities. Apart from that, make it a point to visit your
children (if time and money permits).

Positive attitude
A positive attitude towards life is very important in this phase. It will help to overcome the loneliness. Instead of brooding over things you can’t control, try and adapt to the situation and always look at the brighter side of your children’s life and progress. Staying positive will have a good impact on you.

Enjoy life
When children grow up and leave home for various reasons, that’s the time to enjoy your life. Life would have been busy with raising children, education, marriage and the like. Now is the time to enjoy the freedom that you have. Use all the time in the world that you have constructively. Join a ladies club or hobby club, if you are looking to expand your social circle.

Attend club activities regularly to socialise and bond with people. Or how about joining a spiritual centre, if you are religious? Whatever you choose to do, relax and enjoy the silence at home — something you may have longed for in the busy years of your life.

Just like a bird has to let its little ones fly away at some point, it is your duty as a parent to let go. You could brood about it and feel miserable or you could look at the brighter side of life and make the most of it. The choice is yours.