Does online dating do more harm than good?

Online dating is the new trend that the youth are catching up with, especially those who are shy and have problems approaching people. Though conventional dating is still preferred by many, others are exploring the possibilities of the online medium. However some tech savvy youth use the apps for the sake of fun.  “In a time where the pursuit of instant gratification is more the rule than the exception, dating platforms tend to be extremely alluring,” says Dr Shwetank Bansal, a consultant psychiatrist at ‘Better Me – Mental Health Services’.

Though popular dating apps need an age verification, which is often done by accessing one’s Facebook account, these age restrictions are easily bypassed.

Dating apps like Tinder which earlier had the minimum age restriction of 12 years and  Zoosk’s, 4 years recently increased to 17 years. Truly Madly, a popular dating site in India has a minimum age restriction of 18 years.

There is a lot of thrill involved in meeting new people on dating sites. “Youth nowadays tend to have a predilection towards screen based interaction, where responses and reactions can be edited and polished, and one can avoid the unnecessary embarrassment of uttering something politically incorrect and inadvertently rubbing someone the wrong way,” Dr Bansal tells Metrolife.

Increasing use of dating apps among the youth can be linked to depression and reduced confidence. Since Tinder alerts the user if his/her profile picture was rejected, “many people tend to attach their measure of self esteem with the number of 'right swipes’ or ‘likes’ they receive”. At times, this can lead to the false conclusion that one is socially undesirable. Dr Bansal says, “I routinely get clients in the age group of 15-30 years who are suffering from depression, with one of the contributing factors being the negative self-image perpetuated by others’ unfavourable responses to them on dating sites.” He advises, “Teenagers having impressionable minds need to understand that profile pictures don’t define your identity and should stop linking responses they receive to their self-worth.”

Many people also complain that they were disappointed when they met the person whom they were dating because the interface does not take any responsibilty to verify the users’ identity. Users are supposed to self warrant their personal information.
 
“A face-to-face conversation is a different experience where you can predict the person’s mood unlike texting and chatting,” says Harshita, a 22-year-old who dated an unknown person online as a teenager. “I have stopped talking to random strangers. As a teenager, I had problems physically approaching people but it proved to be a bad experience as people often lie and many are ‘flirts’ just passing time. I have stopped relying on online dating altogether.”

Obsession is yet another problem faced by teenagers using these popular platforms. “I feel  teenagers are being led astray. They spend the whole time chatting to random strangers whom they might never meet and lose interest in studies,” says Rakhi Mishra, a parent of two.