Let's talk it over

On the demise of his father, Arun was in a dilemma. As a responsible and caring son, he wanted his mother to reside with him, but was aware of the related problems. The fly in the ointment was the not so cordial relations between his mother and wife, Julie. Both needed their space and independence, and residing together under one roof did not appear to be an ideal solution.

In a quandary, all three decided to have an open and fran­k discussion. They agreed to purchase a small apartment nearby, where his mother could live independently with support from Arun and Julie. A problem which appeared insurmountable initially was resolved through a practical and mature discussion. Now, Arun’s mother and Julie have never been so close to each other.

This is only one instance where a sensitive and delicate situation was averted through open and frank communication. Every person faces an interpersonal problem which seems to defy a solution. A misunderstanding with spouse, colleague or relative, culminates in a near break situation. A boss’s behaviour becomes unbearable, as he feels that his authority is being bypassed. Parents, albeit unintentionally, often favour one child against another, causing jealousy between the siblings. Domestic servants are well known to indulge in loose gossip, causing a rift in otherwise cordial relations between neighbours.

Such incidents are unavoidable, as close interaction between individuals is an integral part of our lives. As the problem emerges, it seems that the end of the world has arrived. Seeing only a dark tunnel at the end of every road, one feels helpless and shattered, angry and miserable, and peace of mind goes awry.

Trivial incidents often cause untold bitterness. Do not take shelter behind ego-related hassles. More often than not, the potential misunderstanding will turn out to be minor. The problem will be nipped in the bud if individuals mutually appreciate each other’s view point in a mature manner during frank and positive discussions.

Candid communications and a healthy rapport form the basis of any relationship. It is very easy to break off a well nurtured one, but near impossible to repair it . Why allow such an eventuality to arise?