Press Esc to close
Saturday 29 April 2017
News updated at 11:05 PM IST

For them, fatherhood is a fact

Last updated: 19 June, 2010
Bangalore, June 19 DHNS 22:59 IST

For those who believe in the dictum, ''Motherhood is a fact, fatherhood is a hypothesis'', parenting is a woman's domain.

The general notion is that mother understands and cares for her child, while the fathers are not ‘equipped’ to bring up children. Deccan Herald spoke to single fathers and finds out their experience.

“Apart from the biological child-bearing part, I think parenting is an acquired art. The situation kind of moulds you. Every parent wants to do his or her best to see that their child is raised in the best possible way,” believes T C Sajit, who has raised his 12-year-old daughter since she was 18-months. Sajit lost his wife to a car accident and has been doing his best to see that his daughter doesn’t miss her mother.

With his parents living with him, Sajit has it a little easy but that doesn't mean he hasn't made any adjustments. The regional head of Tata Teleservices states he tries to spend as much time as possible with his daughter, Smriti.

“I don’t bring home work on Saturday or Sunday. All the Parent Teacher Meetings are a must and I usually go for official tour during the school days and that too, day trips,” he says. Every night after dinner the father and daughter spend an hour together where they catch up on their days’ activities. And during vacation, he takes her along on official trips.

So, hasn’t his family ever pressurised him to get remarried?

“My family had broached the topic many a times. But I don’t think either of us have felt the need for another person. We are content the way we are. But we are keeping the option open,” he said.

Meanwhile, for Father’s Day, Smriti took her father to a mall and asked him to buy anything he felt like within the budget of her pocket money - Rs 10,000. Sujit picked up a headphone for himself.

Custodial issues

With divorce rates in the country steadily going north, there are many fathers, who are in the midst of custodial battle for their children. These fathers have limited access to see their child/children and in most cases only have visiting rights to see them.

“I filed the custody application in 2006 but till today I have not been able to see my own blood. If this continues I will see my son only when he attains 25 years of age,” Suresh, president of National Family Harmony Society, says. It’s a devastating experience for fathers, who cannot live with their own child. “Mother is a ‘want’ and Father is a ‘need’,” says Raju (name changed), who is divorced and is allowed to see his daughter only on Sundays. Yet, he feels extremely happy and lucky as he will be able to meet his daughter on Father's day.

“A father is better than 100 teachers to guide the children,” says Kumar Jahgirdar, President of CRISP India (Children's Rights Initiative For Shared Parenting). The NGO looks into the issues of “parental alienation” that affect children of divorced or separated couples.

Go to Top

Photo Gallery
My Take: Can you count colours? Photo by Nalini R Magal from Hassan...

My Take: Can you count colours? Photo by Nalini R Magal from Hassan...

My Take: Happiness as a warm puppy. Photo by Varsha Chalageri from Dharwad...

My Take: Happiness as a warm puppy. Photo by Varsha Chalageri from Dharwad...

My Take: Pretty posers. Photo by Siddhi Doddanavar, from Belgaum...

My Take: Pretty posers. Photo by Siddhi Doddanavar, from Belgaum...

My Take: You mean, I wont grow up to be a tiger? Photo by Praveenkumar P K from Dharwad

My Take: You mean, I wont grow up to be a tiger? Photo by Praveenkumar P K from Dharwad

The good side vs the bad side. Photo by Gayatri Venkatesh from Bengaluru...

The good side vs the bad side. Photo by Gayatri Venkatesh from Bengaluru...

Border Security Force (BSF) personals handing over a 15 years old Pakistani national Razak...

Border Security Force (BSF) personals handing over a 15 years old Pakistani national Razak...

Basaveshwara statue is decorated on the occasion of Basava Jayanthi and Akshaya Tritiya....

Basaveshwara statue is decorated on the occasion of Basava Jayanthi and Akshaya Tritiya....

A Japanese Hitoshi Takahashi biker performs stunt during Yamaha FMX stunt show in Kochi, Kerala...

A Japanese Hitoshi Takahashi biker performs stunt during Yamaha FMX stunt show in Kochi, Kerala...

People use umbrella to protect from rain at at MG Road and Kasturba Road junction in Bengaluru...

People use umbrella to protect from rain at at MG Road and Kasturba Road junction in Bengaluru...

A lion beats the heat by relaxing under a tree at Dr Shivaram Karnath Biological Park...

A lion beats the heat by relaxing under a tree at Dr Shivaram Karnath Biological Park...

Like us on Facebook

Copyright 2017, The Printers (Mysore) Private Ltd., 75, M.G Road, Post Box 5331, Bengaluru - 560001
Tel: +91 (80) 25880000 Fax No. +91 (80) 25880523
Powered by Yodasoft Technologies Pvt. Ltd.