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Vitiligo is a chronic autoimmune disorder that causes white patches to appear on the skin, disrupting its natural appearance. While primarily a physical condition, vitiligo deeply impacts the emotional, psychological, and social aspects of one’s life. It affects both men and women, but how each gender navigates the challenges it presents, can be influenced by societal expectations, cultural norms, and personal experiences.
I, too, have experienced the profound impact of vitiligo. As a former Miss India America and someone selected for a lead role in a Bollywood film, beauty and appearance were central to my identity. It wasn’t until I developed vitiligo later in life that I was forced to confront the deeper issues surrounding beauty standards and the superficial ways in which we often measure our worth.
The gendered impact
Society’s obsession with beauty places immense pressure on women to conform to unrealistic standards of perfection. For many women, flawless skin is directly tied to attractiveness, self-worth, and success. When vitiligo changes the appearance of the skin, it can trigger a significant emotional and psychological upheaval. I experienced this first-hand when patches of lighter skin began to appear on my body and face. Initially, this change made me feel self-conscious and anxious. While my accomplishments as a coach had given me confidence, my sense of self-worth was still challenged.
Achievements may boost confidence, but they do not always enhance self-worth. True self-worth comes from a deeper place, often shaped by childhood experiences and societal conditioning.
Growing up, my father placed a significant emphasis on appearance and societal achievement. These values shaped my understanding of what was important and how I defined myself — through his lens, and society’s. As a single woman grappling with social expectations, I began to question whether I would still be seen as desirable. This is where the challenges women with vitiligo face can differ from those of men. While men are also subject to societal expectations regarding their appearance, they generally face less scrutiny over their skin’s perfection. Their worth is often measured by qualities such as career success, strength, and confidence. However, men are not immune to the emotional toll that vitiligo can bring, which may lead to feelings of isolation or frustration.
Redefining beauty & self-worth
When vitiligo first appeared in my life, it served as a wake-up call, forcing me to question the concept of beauty I had internalised for years. I felt the societal pressure that women with vitiligo often experience, but I knew that to heal, I had to break free from the conventional narratives that defined my value.
Centring practices
Along with shifting my mindset, I found grounding tools that helped me stay anchored in peace and self-acceptance. Breathwork and meditation became two of the most effective tools in managing the anxiety I initially felt about vitiligo. These practices allowed me to relax my nervous system, regain control of my thoughts, and stay present — letting go of fear and judgement. Through wisdom and reflection, I learned to view life from a broader perspective, appreciating my essence rather than seeking external validation.
The silent blessing of vitiligo
One aspect of vitiligo that I’ve come to appreciate is its silent nature. Unlike diseases such as cancer or dementia, which can be life-threatening and cause ongoing physical pain or cognitive decline, vitiligo does not cause physical discomfort. While there is no permanent medical cure, it doesn’t disrupt daily life. Treatment for it is optional, and in itself, this is a blessing.
This perspective has allowed me to approach vitiligo with gratitude rather than frustration. What began as a challenge became a transformative experience that taught me deep lessons about self-love and acceptance. It has been a beautiful journey of embracing all parts of me — beyond what society deems “beautiful” or “flawless.”
Embracing diversity & self-acceptance
Reflecting on my journey with vitiligo, I realise it has deepened my compassion for others. I see how vitiligo impacts people differently, depending on gender, cultural background, and personal beliefs. For both men and women, vitiligo presents an opportunity for growth, self-discovery, and breaking free from external expectations.
Vitiligo not only challenges our perceptions of beauty but also gives us a chance to redefine what true beauty is. True beauty comes from within — the essence that cannot be tainted or destroyed.
Both men and women with vitiligo have the power to redefine their relationship with beauty. Seeking support, through coaching, support groups, or spiritual mentorship, can help shift the focus inward and reconnect with inner strength, stability, and love. By letting go of external pressures and embracing the wisdom within, we can each walk our path towards self-love, gratitude, and inner peace.
(The author recently published Anchor Within with Penguin Random House India.)