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Counsellors say children and adolescents in Bengaluru are increasingly experiencing stress due to curtailed playtime, rigid schedules, and parental pressure. They say many teenagers aged 14 to 18 feel they have little control over their routines.
According to a report, a teenager recently fled the city and travelled as far as Delhi after feeling overwhelmed by his parents refusing him playtime. The boy is academically bright.
City-based counsellors say learning gaps from the pandemic, along with parents’ anxieties as well as expectations for their wards to achieve what they could not, have intensified stress among children. Such children tend
to show poor concentration or behavioural issues such as irritability or
defiance. Most of these cases involve children juggling schoolwork and tuitions, with almost no downtime.
‘Lack of control’
D Sherin Priscilla, a counsellor at a Fraser Town school for over a year, recalls a 13-year-old whose mother “strictly controlled his schedule and
discouraged him from playing basketball and joining the NCC”. After counselling, he opened up to his father about the matter and chose NCC.
She also recalls a 12-year-old who had “little time for leisure” between school and tuition classes. His parents worked night shifts and ensured he was occupied during the day.
Neha Poonacha, a counsellor at a Hennur school, recounts a student
who became withdrawn after his parents confiscated his gaming equipment. He had been spending 3-4 hours a day gaming and missing homework. “A proper schedule is important in most cases,” she advises.
Psychologist Sushma Kaushik says boys often express distress through aggression or risk-taking, while girls tend to internalise it and do everything their parents want. She warns that extreme reactions like running away can result from a child facing “prolonged criticism and feeling a lack of control”.
‘Leisure, a waste of time’
Sherin says about 80% of the 10- to 17-year-olds she has counselled show signs of stress from being denied playtime. Counsellor Sharanya Misra, who works with two Whitefield schools, has handled about 15 such cases in the past year. Neha says that 20-30% of the 700 students she has seen since May have faced similar restrictions. Parents of such children often cite excessive gaming or poor time management to explain why they curb playtime.
Child and adolescent psychiatrist Dr Arohi Vardhan notes that cases of children feeling overwhelmed by tuition-heavy schedules and parental expectations that “every hour must be productive” have increased by at least 40% in the last decade. Sushma, who manages a non-profit mental health helpline, says her centre sees 30-50 children each month. Nearly half of them show behavioural issues linked to overscheduling and restricted playtime.
Adolescent counsellor Maullika Sharma adds that anxiety over college admissions and careers often leads parents to micromanage. They label socialising and hobbies as “wasting time”, a pattern that can continue into college.
Solutions
Experts say easing such pressure requires open communication, flexible schedules, and restoring a child’s sense of agency. Sushma stresses that irritability and withdrawal signal the need for better connection and less control.
Neha helps students create balanced routines “to show parents they can manage academics while leaving room for hobbies”.
Many like Dr Arohi recommend at least an hour of unstructured playtime daily, and also giving children leeway to make small decisions. Family therapy and restructured routines, she says, help reduce confrontation within families and restore balance.