<p>Last Independence Day, I turned 98. Being aware of my state of health, the chances of my continuing writing my weekly columns appear bleak. I have been writing my bi-weekly columns for over 70 years without a break. The truth is that I want to die.<br /><br /> I have lived long enough and am fed up of life. I have nothing to look forward to - whatever I wanted to do in life, I have done. So what is point of hanging on to life with nothing whatsoever left to do? Then only in relief I can think of is to recall memories of past sweet-hearts.</p>.<p> I recall an Urdu couplet:<br />Raat yoon dil mein teree khoyee yaad aaee<br />Jai sey veeraney main chupkey say bahaar aa jaaye<br />Jaisey sehroon mein hauley sey chaley baad-a-naseem<br />Jaisey beemaar ko be-vajah qaraar aa jaiey<br /><br />Tonight your lost memory stole back in my mind<br />As spring sneaks into the desert waste<br />As softly blows gentle breeze<br />As hope comes to sick man<br />Too sick to hope for life.<br /><br />So what is the treatment for someone sick beyond hope?<br />For the body like a corpse<br />Recall memories of a dead sweet-heart.<br />Have the last laugh<br />During vacations some college boys from South India came to Delhi. They rented a taxi for sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardarji and boys being boys, they began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to tease the old man. To their surprise, the old fellow remained unperturbed.<br /><br />At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid the cab hire charges. The Sardar returned the change and he gave each one of them a ten rupee note extra and said, “Sons, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in bad taste. Still, I don’t mind because I know that you are young and are yet to see the world. But I have one request. I am giving you ten rupees each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this or any other city.”<br />The friend continued, “That ten rupees note is still with me. I couldn’t find a single sardar begging anywhere.”<br /><br />Sikh contribute:<br />*33% of total income tax<br />*67% of total charities<br />*45% of Indian Army<br />*59,000 +Gurudwaras serve langar, free of charges, to over 60 lakh people every day!<br />And all this when they are only 1.4% of the total Indian population.<br />(Contributed by Vijendra <br />Gupta, New Delhi).<br /><br />Letdown<br />My body rattles// made of bamboo shoots tied with splinters.<br />If a string snaps// or a knot gives way, <br />the body’s frame// will fall to pieces.<br />Poor soul!!<br />It had mistaken// my body for a flute<br />and had entered// to play a melody.<br />(Gulzar in Poets International)<br />Hike in power tariff<br />In this season of sweltering heat<br />My dear wife and children sweet<br />I hope you willn’t mind<br />If I leave a few tips behind:<br /><br />It is much better to brood in the pitch dark night<br />Than switching on your bedroom light<br />Learn to sweat out like a stoic most patiently<br />Rather than switch on the cooler or AC<br />Go and sit under a shady neighbourhood tree<br />And revive the ancient culture of your country<br />And finally to conclude this part of my will<br />Keep by your bed-side a strong sleeping pill<br />And avoid running up a hefty power bill<br />For, whether it is the beginning of the month, middle or the start<br />You ought to be stingy and smart<br />For, balancing the household budget has become a rare, fine art.<br />(Courtesy: Kuldip Salil, Delhi)<br /><br />Gravitas<br /><br />Banta Singh badly wanted to be known and remembered as a Great Man... So after a strenuous research he made a new addition to ‘Newton’s Law of Motion:<br />“New Theory of Motion”.. which says:<br />“A loose motion can never be done in slow motion!”<br /><br />Good exchange<br />Banta: I got a brand new Ford Ikon for my wife.<br />Santa: Wow... that’s an unbelievable exchange offer.<br /><br />Indebted<br />Bank sent a letter to Santa saying: “Your payments are outstanding.”<br />Santa wrote back to say: “Thank you I am flattered.<br /><br />Why did you shoot your wife?<br />Judge: Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?<br />Sardar: Your Honour, It’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.<br /><em><br />(Contributed by: Vipin Buckshey, Delhi)</em><br /></p>
<p>Last Independence Day, I turned 98. Being aware of my state of health, the chances of my continuing writing my weekly columns appear bleak. I have been writing my bi-weekly columns for over 70 years without a break. The truth is that I want to die.<br /><br /> I have lived long enough and am fed up of life. I have nothing to look forward to - whatever I wanted to do in life, I have done. So what is point of hanging on to life with nothing whatsoever left to do? Then only in relief I can think of is to recall memories of past sweet-hearts.</p>.<p> I recall an Urdu couplet:<br />Raat yoon dil mein teree khoyee yaad aaee<br />Jai sey veeraney main chupkey say bahaar aa jaaye<br />Jaisey sehroon mein hauley sey chaley baad-a-naseem<br />Jaisey beemaar ko be-vajah qaraar aa jaiey<br /><br />Tonight your lost memory stole back in my mind<br />As spring sneaks into the desert waste<br />As softly blows gentle breeze<br />As hope comes to sick man<br />Too sick to hope for life.<br /><br />So what is the treatment for someone sick beyond hope?<br />For the body like a corpse<br />Recall memories of a dead sweet-heart.<br />Have the last laugh<br />During vacations some college boys from South India came to Delhi. They rented a taxi for sight-seeing. The driver was an old Sardarji and boys being boys, they began cracking Sardarji jokes, just to tease the old man. To their surprise, the old fellow remained unperturbed.<br /><br />At the end of the sight-seeing, they paid the cab hire charges. The Sardar returned the change and he gave each one of them a ten rupee note extra and said, “Sons, since morning you have been telling Sardarji jokes. I listened to them all and let me tell you, some of them were in bad taste. Still, I don’t mind because I know that you are young and are yet to see the world. But I have one request. I am giving you ten rupees each. Give it to the first Sardar beggar that you come across in this or any other city.”<br />The friend continued, “That ten rupees note is still with me. I couldn’t find a single sardar begging anywhere.”<br /><br />Sikh contribute:<br />*33% of total income tax<br />*67% of total charities<br />*45% of Indian Army<br />*59,000 +Gurudwaras serve langar, free of charges, to over 60 lakh people every day!<br />And all this when they are only 1.4% of the total Indian population.<br />(Contributed by Vijendra <br />Gupta, New Delhi).<br /><br />Letdown<br />My body rattles// made of bamboo shoots tied with splinters.<br />If a string snaps// or a knot gives way, <br />the body’s frame// will fall to pieces.<br />Poor soul!!<br />It had mistaken// my body for a flute<br />and had entered// to play a melody.<br />(Gulzar in Poets International)<br />Hike in power tariff<br />In this season of sweltering heat<br />My dear wife and children sweet<br />I hope you willn’t mind<br />If I leave a few tips behind:<br /><br />It is much better to brood in the pitch dark night<br />Than switching on your bedroom light<br />Learn to sweat out like a stoic most patiently<br />Rather than switch on the cooler or AC<br />Go and sit under a shady neighbourhood tree<br />And revive the ancient culture of your country<br />And finally to conclude this part of my will<br />Keep by your bed-side a strong sleeping pill<br />And avoid running up a hefty power bill<br />For, whether it is the beginning of the month, middle or the start<br />You ought to be stingy and smart<br />For, balancing the household budget has become a rare, fine art.<br />(Courtesy: Kuldip Salil, Delhi)<br /><br />Gravitas<br /><br />Banta Singh badly wanted to be known and remembered as a Great Man... So after a strenuous research he made a new addition to ‘Newton’s Law of Motion:<br />“New Theory of Motion”.. which says:<br />“A loose motion can never be done in slow motion!”<br /><br />Good exchange<br />Banta: I got a brand new Ford Ikon for my wife.<br />Santa: Wow... that’s an unbelievable exchange offer.<br /><br />Indebted<br />Bank sent a letter to Santa saying: “Your payments are outstanding.”<br />Santa wrote back to say: “Thank you I am flattered.<br /><br />Why did you shoot your wife?<br />Judge: Why did you shoot your wife instead of shooting her lover?<br />Sardar: Your Honour, It’s easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.<br /><em><br />(Contributed by: Vipin Buckshey, Delhi)</em><br /></p>