Choosing a life partner

‘Feelings’ started sprouting for the middle girl, as both were in their early twenties.


During the recent Golden Jubilee of our commissioning at Indian Military Academy, Dehradun, we exchanged notes of the 50 years gone by. One topic was how each chose his life partner! This is a brief about four of us.

When a friend and family had gone ‘to see the girl formally’ for the first time in 1970, no one had come to receive them at the railway station, from the girl’s side. They, however, managed to reach the place. Seeing them upset about being ‘not received’ properly, the prospective father-in-law apologised , saying his younger daughter had taken the car to receive them from the railway station but had a minor accident.

In a flash, my gallant friend, without even meeting her, said that she is the girl he would marry. When pointed out she was younger than the girl he had gone to see, more adamantly he said ‘NO’ change, it is the younger one! They did get married!

A Muslim friend had heard about a girl from the wife of a Colonel after the 1971 War and had a proposal sent even without seeing her. Understandably, his would-be father-in-law felt that the boy must be war-wounded; else, how would anyone send a proposal without even seeing the girl. So, he insisted on seeing the prospective groom first. All went well; the marriage did take place!

Another friend, then 18 was introduced to a family with three daughters by a friend, in 1960 during a visit to Dehradun. The family was like godparents to many homesick gentlemen-cadets. He renewed his visits in 1961-62, when he landed up in Dehradun as a gentleman-cadet himself. He moved to ‘field’ thereafter. Divine intervention brought him back once more as a Captain, to Dehradun in February 1966.

‘Feelings’ started sprouting for the middle girl, as both were in their early twenties. He started zipping 14 km thrice a day on his scooter to meet his lover. Problem developed over horoscope matching. He got over the hurdle with help from the same astrologer who had warned his dad not to proceed with the match but now reluctantly agreed: 'Let the children be happy for 15 years'; sadly, he lost his wife, exactly after 15 yrs 2 months.

A Christian girl got engaged to a Major in the normal course, but a jealous aunt sowed doubts asking her to be sure as there are havildar majors and subedar majors too! The mother beseeched the Lord and her prayers were answered.

He was a 'real' Major. Usual round of parties during engagement followed; in one, a lady whose daughter was also likely to get engaged to a Major, asked her about jewellery. The girl said: 'Nothing much ... just a ‘kamasutra', a Freudian slip for mangalsutra! The glare from the Major made her move away. It later turned out that the aunt headed to her jeweller for a 'kamasutra' for her daughter too, may be to get a Major as son-in-law!

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