Learning always stays and proves to be useful

Ask your counsellor

Dear Madam,

I am a 10th standard student and am unable to focus on anything for a long time. I become very restless. I am worried that this will affect my studies in the long term. What should I do?

Thripthi G

Dear Thripthi,

Given the current situation of classes being online, many students are finding it hard to focus and pay attention. Are you doing the basic things of putting away other devices, and closing all windows and shutting off notifications when you are trying to focus on something? That is the 101 of staying focused — to minimise distractions. Other than that, sometimes inability to focus is because of the chatter within our brains — random repetitive thoughts that keep rearing their head or getting stuck. Anxiety and fear about the future may also keep us from staying in the present moment and focusing on the task at hand. Or there may be chemical reasons for the brain struggling to focus. Please reach out to a mental health professional to understand your lack of focus and gain some coping techniques that may help.

Dear Madam,

I am a 12th standard student. I have been feeling overwhelmed by my studies as my family has been impacted by Covid. Everyone thinks that now that the family responsibility is on me, I should pull up my socks. I am unable to focus, what do I do?

T A

Dear T A,

Thank you for reaching out for help! I can only try and understand what you are experiencing right now and it is understandable that you are still grieving for the loss and impact you experienced during Covid. That has been a very challenging time for many of us and the fact that you are unable to focus and feeling overwhelmed is understandable and to be expected. On top of that, you are feeling the burden of having to take responsibility for your family which can be a big burden for someone as young as you to carry. I think it would be helpful for you to be able to speak to a counsellor about this. There are many free counselling helplines these days and individual counsellors whom you can access on phone or video. Please do reach out for help as it will really help you to gain a deeper understanding of what you are experiencing and help you cope with your loss and the additional responsibility being put on you.

Dear Madam,

I have been going to tuitions for more than two years now. Recently, the teacher has been making me feel very uncomfortable. I am unable to explain this to my parents, how do I deal with this?

Anonymous

Dear Student,

Thank you for the courage to speak up about this and express your discomfort. I am wondering if you have tried to explain this to your parents and they have not understood, or if you are just imagining that they will not understand if you speak to them. Do you think there is some other trusted adult that you can speak to about this, if not your parents? I completely trust your judgment about feeling uncomfortable and no matter what, you do not need to do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Please speak up about it to whoever you think can help — if not your parents, then someone who can speak to your parents and communicate your discomfort. You must recognise that this is not your fault or your creation and you are not to blame for it. Please get the support that you can for this.

Dear Madam,

I recently went through a breakup with a girl in my class. I don’t feel like going to college now. I am also unable to talk to my friends about what I am feeling. I feel like I am letting everybody down. How do I start communicating my feelings?

Rajat

Dear Rajat,

Please talk to a counsellor to help you process how you are feeling. I get a sense that maybe you are calling a sense of guilt about the breakup. It is important to remember that both people contribute to a relationship and if the relationship did not work out, both people carry responsibility for it. It is not one person’s fault and does not mean that any one of the two people is not good enough. There is no reason why you should not be able to talk to your friends about it. Sometimes, we don’t talk to others about things that are important for us because we fear their judgment. It is important to remember that it is not their judgment of us that is important. But rather our own judgment of ourselves. We worry that people will judge us badly or poorly because the reality is that that is how we are judging ourselves. This break up does not mean that you are a failure and so there is no reason for you to carry guilt and shame about it. Good luck opening up to your friends and others that you choose to.